I am old enough to appreciate 867-5309.

Consider getting a copy of the book "Creating a Web Site The Missing Manual". This covers HTML for building web pages, PHP for application logic, and MySQL for storing and retrieving data. This communicates clearly how to determine what gets executed on the client machine in the web browser and what gets executed on the server(s). It can also help you get everything you need installed on a PC. My sales pitch for doing this first is that you don't need to climb the object-oriented learning curve until you are ready, you can use the knowledge to build a web site for yourself or a non-profit organization, and you will get a small amount of relational database experience. I programmed in Assembler on IBM 360 and 370 computers so I at least understand your question and concerns.