Also, does it integrate well with Miami Vice? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tGvHNNOLnCk

If you really want to run an active directory server you can but that seems a bit too ambitous for 3 clients. You can set user accounts for your children on these machines and log in remotely via "mstsc" You should be able to control internet access from your router. In windows you can also set times that users can use the internet. As for your linux server, I'm not sure what you plan on doing with that but check out FreeNAS. I think it may be a server solution that you will like, if you plan on having a machine for use only as a server. If not I would run Ubuntu and just install the SAMBA server package to make shares. But if that's all you plan on doing your Windows machines can all make files shares. Sounds like you just need to setup a workgroup with additional storage like a NAS. I wouldn't go off and spend tons of money investing in a server for 3 or 4 clients to use. That 10 year old desktop could make a good fileshare/printer share maybe add a large hard drive to it and remove all the crap except the anti-virus, then create your workgroup and your shares with file permissions. (I know it's not as cool as active directory on a domain controller but this is a home network with less than 10 clients.)

Apple has made the decision yet again to limit the functionality of their own devices and control their consumers choices. You would think instead of removing apps from their store that they would add more to make their own product more marketable and versitile. Maybe instead of worrying limiting functionality, Apple should think about adding functionality and consider why people want other products instead of theirs. The ability to browse flash sites would be a good start, who cares if there are apps to watch porn on the app store. All people really want is the ability to do what they need, browse the web with no limitations, and use the device with no limitations. If I want to tinker with the hardware who cares, the idea is that you are selling phones, ipods and computers.

I prefer having breaks, steering, and not having an accelerator stick to the floor.

Distrowatch.com is certainly a place to look and view screen shots of different distro's of linux and BSD. For users that are looking for a windows like feel, KDE based linux distro's are decent particularly kde 4 from kde.org I'm more interested in the gnome desktop environment, once I've shown people how simple it is to navigate this desktop there's actually a very minimal learning curve. Also, a rather simple linux distro that is easy to use is dreamlinux. I believe that distro is based off of the xfce desktop environment. It's easy to install and modify, but I'm still a bigger fan of the Gnome environment and the Ubuntu forum/software/driver support. Open Suse also has a rather simple installation process, and there is even a commercial version with support available.