Sometimes I make fun of people who are dependent on Alexa by asking, "Alexa, wipe my ass."

Me too. I had envisioned this whole system where the smell of bacon leads them to their seat on the plane.

"Liberals" in Europe are classical liberals who would be labeled libertarians in the US. This is classical definition of liberalism. These people are social liberals and econonomic liberals (free market). "Liberals" in the US are social liberals in the classical sense who generally have a lot of economic positions close to democratic socialists, such that the right wing conflates "liberalism" with socialism.

elitist museum nerd fight!

... is that it lumps the 22-yr old guy who has consensual sex with a 16-yr old girl in with the child molesters and child rapists. You may find it unsavory and you may not believe that a 16-yr old can "legally" consent (whatever the hell that means), but it's not in the same league as "touching" a child.

How is it that hardline Communism is never characterized as "socialism", but invariably totalitarian state capitalism with myriad social and economic regulations is held up as the gold standard of "free-market" capitalism?