An optical drive? What is this? The 90s? Netbooks are pretty popular, run Windows and don't have one. A rather large segment of normal laptops don't have one either and they are even being phased out on desktops. The vast majority of software almost everyone uses they download at this point. As for the keyboard/mouse you should familiarize yourself with the product in question before making comments. The MS Surface tablets all come with a cover that doubles as a physical keyboard. As for the mouse, the keyboard includes a trackpad like on laptops and obviously the touch screen is supposed to cover some of the functionality of a mouse as well.

Yes, sure, with Android installed. Windows 8 is not designed to run on such hardware.

I suspect there would be no margin on a tablet that can't even remotely run the OS properly.

"fully fledged windows 8 and be capable of running desktop software. including modern games."

You mean fully capable of running games and software if developers decide to support it with games and software designed to be usable with a touch screen interface. It will be capable of "running" regular games and software designed for a normal computer with mouse/keyboard in a painfully awkward manner.

It never said the entangled pairs consist of one slow and one fast(I believe if entangled they must either both be slow or both be fast) but even if so then yes observing that one is slow would mean the other is fast and vice versa.

I couldn't agree more; http://i.imgur.com/Z3xdh.jpg

No, it says needlessly annoyed and you needed it.

Also, doesn't the indecent or obscene part effectively and unambiguously outlaw basically any form of cybersex?

Please describe the process whereby I can will myself into irrationality of the optimistic variety. "I want to believe this thing that doesn't make sense" just doesn't really work for me. Maybe I'm lacking in self-delusional ability.