Satellite can't stay cool? Has global warming extended beyond earth's atmosphere already?

Wait, wait, wait... this is a terrible idea...

(Grabs popcorn)

Okay, you can proceed now.

Less than $1/year for every person in the country! How many hours and dollars were wasted, er... spent in drafting up these standards?

Fee-less? Like the charges that all the credit card processors levy? ...or do you mean hidden fees that are just passed on to the customer?

Not only are some repairs quicker than others, but TFA noted that he had a staff as large as six people at one point assisting him in his shop... I don't doubt that a man of his abilities could repair 300,000 machines (depending on the complexity of the repair), but it could be a reference to those repairs he supervised, and not just those he actually performed with his own two hands.

Tell me, Microsoft, what games of YOURS are still being played 20 to 30 years later?

Ummm... Solitaire?

That depends if you place the books end-to-end, stack them on top of each other, or rip our their pages and fold them into a complex daisy chain.

Do you spend a lot of time staring into your home from the outside?

Of course, Google also indicates that you should head up through Seattle, Washington, when travelling from San Francisco, California, to Honolulu, Hawaii, so maybe the problem is the Pacific Northwest (of the US), and not the kayaking part...

You mean Windsor, Ontario?

That sounds like a pain in the arse... and they have something like that already: it's called a "suppository."

What's the saving throw on that? Will sugar add a modifier?

I'm getting spam from McCain too, but I am from the US.

On the positive side, he assures me that a large chunk of the $700 billion bailout is waiting for me if I just give him my savings account number and password...