just thought i would post

Like everything else the phenomenon was bound to burn itself out. The sands of time and all... Try to imagine that you are sitting there, comfortable in your existence and then all of a sudden something like the Internet appears and all the hard work you have done for the last 50 years flies out the windows because some nerds with binoculars are sitting on your proverbial doortstep. Not a good way to start the morning... So now, it's almost 10 years later and you are still feeling the impacts of those events and still trying to put yourselves back on track. You had to move everything and that was such a pain in the ass that you are now sooooooo paranoid that you wont event let the disinfo monkeys near your op to leak the bits to the wackos on the Net. Strange days indeed my friend. There are even several aftermath type sites out there purporting to tell the world what really happened in the gooey green sludge tanks back in Dulce. Just a strip in the middle of an old Nuclear test range is now on t-shirts. Don't you feel nifty?

and then again i dont travel much anymore either. Slammed into this suite. How so I get myself into this kind of stuff?

Here it is. 4 years of marriage. Today. Actually today at 2, but who the hell is counting right?
Have you ever heard some tune and were transported back in time to the spot where it was relavant? I have been listening to the live John Mayerlately. By any means he is not some young tortured genius...but then again. His audicence gives him a bad name, but I believe he's very talented. The overly produced, we're looking for a hit single album is ok, but he really does shine in a live environment despite 1000 screaming 13 and 14 year old girls. Anyway, to my point...
Man on the side. As in, life as the. Excuse me Mrs. Busybody, could you pencil me in? But we both know the worst part about it, is that I will be free when you wanted me.
Highschool (the last one), I forget her last name, but her first was L. I will be free when you wanted me. When you wanted me. I am the man on the side.
I've been married 4 years today and it reminds me how much I love my wife. But it also reminds me how lucky I am in finding someone who will return what I give her in kind. Who says time travel isn't possible?

An so I fell right on. Into this groove. Werk, sleep, werk sleep. I have this rythym about me. I'm a dumbass white-boy so the rythym isn't perfect. It skips a few beats here and there. It shudders on occasion, but for the most part it grooves on day by day.
Just a little tick in the air. It approaches. A time when all is withering and all is cool. Evening approaches sooner and thoughts turn to other seasonal matters.
I remember that fall/winter at the dotcom. What an absolutely wonderous time. The Major, Thanksgiving lunch around the ping-pong table, and contentment. Those days were hectic and wild, but my eyes were being opened to the werld in a way that they had never been before. I remember having to change Admin passes when they fired the Major. My first real werk and I was cleaning up a broken life and career. At least, that's what it seemed at the time. Back then, all of this was personal. Every little bit of it. The werkplace intermingled with home. The wife and I were happy to be out of the 'ville and glad to be in the city. But as with most things, time wounded the heels...
College firends took different paths, the bubble started to pop, and the newness of the city wore me down to what it had before I left 4 years earlier. Things like mortages began to look appealing. Stock options were cashed in and life changed.
Onto the other place. I traveled. I hated my life. I was around stupid, uncaring people who hated their jobs and had no vision of a future that involved anything other than what they had come to loathe. Unmoraled, and unprincipled people. I was away from my wife and the things I had werked so hard to achieve. It is a place that I wish for no one to have to go. Selling yourself for percieved worth was like being a prostitute. Sitting in hotel rooms all over the werld I asked myself why I kept going. Why I would give so much for this place only to be cast aside like trash. I had a loyalty streak in me that would not allow me to give up. Even after they relegated me to a cordless phone and a headset I kept going. I kept going because I felt that I had to make it werk. I was wrong.
I was so wrong that I couldn't see this place for what it truly was and what it had done to my boss. He was a good man but this place had twisted his view of the werld. He was too young to not be idealistic. This place was a dumping ground for worthless people. I have never in my life seen so many utterly despicable people in one place. It was if every bad methodology, corruptable personality characteristic, and malformed genectic code was thrown into these 3 North American offices and told to disembowel and crucify every client that invested money into the business. Incompetence was rampant. Ignorance king. I was being slowly killed off and left to wallow in my own languid hell.
Does it end here? Does this tale of woe end with our hero fallen before a mighty, bloodsucking foe? No. He has triumphed. He has held high the weapons of freedom and crushed this bane of mediocrity.
I am now here. Day to day in an evironment that is stimulating and rewarding. Before in my life I had always thought that company slogans were just that. A phrase to uttered at retreats and meetings, but to loathed in any other situation. I thought that they were just to the left of fascist. Like the chants uttered by liberals over gun control, suburban sprawl and SUV's. None of it was ever supposed to mean anything except that you were tied down with a chain of limitations and banality. I was wrong once again.
I was wrong to think that these things are only for senior management to impose upon the underlings for a guilty pleasure of corrupted power. These guys who are running the show are different. Thay have werked their way from nothing to become true masters of their own destinies. They appreciate your input and value your opinion. Even if you are a little off center, they are at least open to what you have to say. They will listen. They will listen because they are leaders. They are proud of what they do and have a solid moral background. Now, I have no doubt that many out there would say that this is the wrong thing. But I disagree. Having a solid background allows you to find a center and govern from it. It gives a reference by which you can make judgements. It defines what is right and what is wrong.
I read an interesting blurb this morning that described how a college student was summarily kicked out of a philosophy class for arguing with his professor. The professor began the class with the statement, "There are no absolute truths". This was then argued to be an absolute truth. I guess you can kind of see where this could go. Suffice to say, it does have relavance to the situation at hand. It simply argues that there is a right and wrong. Nothing more and nothing less. Now...am I trying to be an intellectual about this? No, not really. For the most part I am a drooling idiot. I'm sure that if anyone actually reads this, they will come to that point. I am simply telling a rather disjointed story about my meaningless life and voicing my opinion on how thw werld werks.
So, now what? Where do I go from here? I have no idea. I'm happy. I haven't been able to say that in a long time. But you know, one thing that I can say. Happiness is determined by your state of mind. If your environment effects your state of mind, then your well being will reflect this. We choose our own lives. We make the decisions that determine how our lives move forward. People are a reflection of their own choices. Good or bad. Tolerant or intolerant, that's the way it is.

New sport. Geeks in the woods with cooltoys.
http://www,geocaching.com
Had the best time. Took the old boss from the 7th level of hell and went to 1 of 14 radioactive sites in the state to hunt for a geocache. I had a wonderful time. Even got the new truck nice and muddy.
There were dosimeters on the tress! Going to try several of the mountain caches over the next months and while I'm down on the coast next week, going to try and find some beach caches.
I finally found a sport that I like.

Mmmm...lay-offs...

I love it. For the past 2 nights I have listened to Return of the King while laying in bed.
I see now though that I will have to come up with a better solution to listening in the truck. I think I'm going to have to shell out $300 or so on an in dash that has an aux input with RCA's. The tape adapter kinda sucks, especially on the factory head. I kinda figured that it would come to that, I just wanted to save the money, but alas, it is not to be.
I've been looking at JVC for this. They have always been steady in the past and most of them have the ability to read mp3 CD-R's. A nice feature. I guess it's also cool that I can listen to something I just bought at the store on CD without having to get home and encode it first.
iPod rox...

I went to the Apple store after the meeting with the consulting weasel and slapped down my $500 for the 20 gigger. I love this thing. Walked in the door to the house and plugged this bad boy. No mucking around with anything. Plug in, transfer begins. I love Apple. They just do it right.

This is one of the best films I have ever seen. It was extremely powerful and deep sci fi.

Thursday = Inlaws in the southern part of the state.
Friday = Family in another state, with dinner in still yet another. Friday night ended with the bottom of a bottle of Glenlivet. OUCH!
Saturday = 5am wakeup and back home before 12 noon. Trip to frineds office to help with Exchange migration. Saturday night at the neighbors drinking wine and watching the guy that cheated on his wife slap another woman's ass all evening. Suburbia has a rather seedy underbelly.
Sunday = Christmas shopping for the wife.

"Between and overload of information..."
There it goes again; that frustration that I always feel. How can I be with all of this? Am I nutz?

Note to self:
Remember to shower...

I just bought a brand new, red, Ford truck! I'm very thrilled. Pick it up on Monday.
Since I bad mouthed American cars for so long the wife and her family asked, "How do you like your crow? Brolied or deep fried?". Somehow, I think I will never be able to live this one down.
5.4LV-8, 4 Doors and Leather! I've got loads of bluegrass and Dwight Yoakum to blast out the windows on the way home! I feel like a real redneck!

Marginal madness...
Time is out of flux. I'm slipping in and out of reality.
Can't seem to find the right place to be.
Which one is the real werld?