Wow, this isn't well thought out at all.
Javascript, more properly DHTML, is amazingly better than it was at the height of the browser wars. Compare Danny Goodman's DHTML Definitive Guide 1st and 2nd editions. The first one is all about how to handle the differences between Netscape and MS. The 2nd is all about documenting the *standard* DOM and how to script it. MUCH easier than it was 5 years (or 3 years) ago.
Java applets are slow -- no argument there, but hello? Sun? Java is controlled nearly as tightly as Flash. And if you read Macromedia's marketing, they're basically presenting Flash as the Visual Basic of the web. Love or hate VB, it certainly made it easier to build applications. Something similar for the web would have a similar effect -- increased ability for developers to write great apps and increasingly crappy code from non-developers who think they're developers since easy GUI tools lower the barrier to entry for development projects.
Abuse of the technology -- cookie abuse, popups, etc -- is not the fault of the browser. tech is tech, use is use.
And I'm no fan of Microsoft, but Internet Explorer is a *great* browser. Again, wind the clock back 5, or even 3 years. And 6.x is now the last of it's kind before MS rolls it back into the OS.