okay, a rant.

first and foremost: i use linux every day. EVERY DAY, even on the weekends. i've been a linux user for over 7 years. i use it at work, every day, where i develop embedded software (often running on embedded linux). i can set up apache, compile a kernel, and write a driver. i am not a sysadmin, but i'm definitely not a newbie. however, my desktop machines (home and work) run windows. mind you, i spend a significant chunk of my time between ssh windows and cygwin terminals. so why windows? because i'm convinced that windows is a more usable gui.

but maybe i'm biased. i've had numerous people testify to me about how fast xfree86 is. last time i really gave xwindows a serious try (with freebsd) was in 2000. maybe they've improved it by now. maybe the speed of computers today is more than enough to make up for its faults. so, i installed linux (gentoo) on my brand new cheapo dell machine. yeah, i don't want to hear it, it was cheap and it was fast, and i didn't have the time or energy to build my own. anyway, everything is nice and fast, compiled from scratch with -march=pentium4 and other optimizations. i went with kde. and, well...

it fucking blows. xfree86 is still crap. why is this?
my previous machine (a dual celeron 333), had a more responsive gui than this machine, that is nearly 7 times faster. and the reason why: pipes. xwindows uses pipes and sockets to communicate between windows, between the x server and client windows, between gui input, the window manager and the windows. pipes. see, the thing about pipes is that they have a certain latency to them. this latency makes them too slow for situations where very rapid communication is needed. like gui response. windows uses light, fast messages. macos uses messages. beos uses messages. all of these systems have responsive guis (okay, the mac one is kinda slow, but that's an unrelated matter). their guis have been fast enough since sub-100mhz pc's were the norm. when you click on an item in the interface, you need IMMEDIATE visual feedback. if you wait 300ms until it gives indication of responding, then the user perceives the lag and the whole thing feels like crap.

that, ladies and germs, is the problem with xfree86 (or the x protocol in general, i suppose). but, there exists a bigger problem. denial. recognition of the problem does not seem to exist. xfree86 users have trained themselves to the ideosyncracies of their gui, and no longer see the faults. the newbies are the ones that complain that xfree86 sucks, since they just transitioned from a more responsive gui system (usually incorrectly identifying the network-transparency features as the reason for the lag), and the experienced users flame them away.

i eagerly await xfree86's replacement. perhaps something pulled from openbeos, or maybe directfb will do it. we can only hope.

code's not going well tonight. here's a friends diff out of boredom. perhaps there should be a way to score you based on the (inverse) value of your friends' id numbers times the number of friends you have.

  billo (166194)
  cortana (588495)
+Cryptnotic (154382)
+Dot.Com.CEO (624226)
  Drakonian (518722)
  ez76 (322080)
  Herr_Nightingale (556106)
  Jonathunder (105885)
  Makarakalax (658810)
  mao che minh (611166)
  MondoMor (262881)
  neitzsche (520188)
  odigity (266563)
  p00p (630992)
  pchan- (118053)
  Pyrosophy (259529)
  Raedwald (567500)
  random_rabbit (647072)
+rkz (667993)
  slashdot_commentator (444053)
  The Clockwork Troll (655321)
  thentil (678858)
  twentycavities (556077)
  vegasa (642334)
+wozster (514097)
  ynohoo (234463)
  Zorikin (49410)

friends
  ---------------------
  Bruce Perens (3872)
  Chetmurray (216997)
  CmdrTaco (1)
+Dan Rather (694650)
+Fecal Troll Matter (445929)
  IN SOVIET RUSSIA (621411)
  intermodal (534361)
+m.dillon (147925)
  mao che minh (611166)
  nomadic (141991)
+Nucleon500 (628631)
  odigity (266563)
  pchan- (118053)
+shachart (471014)
+sniggly (216454)
  thr0d ps1t (641973)
  TrollBack (544159)
  TrollBurger (575126)
  TrumpetPower! (190615)
  Vince (4999)
  YOU ARE SO FIRED! (635925)
  YOU ARE THE FAILURE! (631092)
  YOU DID IT! (630541)
  YOU FAIL IT! (624257)

  fans
  ---------------------
-ajiva (156759)
+billo (166194)
  cortana (588495)
-Elwood P Dowd (16933)
+Drakonian (518722)
  ez76 (322080)
  Herr_Nightingale (556106)
+Jonathunder (105885)
+Makarakalax (658810)
  mao che minh (611166)
  MondoMor (262881)
+neitzsche (520188)
  odigity (266563)
  p00p (630992)
  pchan- (118053)
  Pyrosophy (259529)
+Raedwald (567500)
  random_rabbit (647072)
  slashdot_commentator (444053)
+The Clockwork Troll (655321)
+thentil (678858)
  twentycavities (556077)
  vegasa (642334)
+ynohoo (234463)
  Zorikin (49410)

  foes
  ---------------------
  $$$$$exyGal (638164)
  cscx (541332)
  dizco (20340)
  ekrout (139379)
  HeroicAutobot (171588)
  HeX86 (536126)
  idiotnot (302133)
  Jouster (144775)
  No More Trolls (544787)
  Theo DeRaadt (322600)
  Troll Blacklist (629503)
+W2k (540424)

  freaks
  ---------------------
  dizco (20340)
  HeroicAutobot (171588)
  HeX86 (536126)
  idiotnot (302133)
  Jouster (144775)
+W2k (540424)

it's too bad you lose your old comments. i found this one thanks to google, and it is probably one of my better posts.

http://developers.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=44492&cid=4622647

(edit: linkified url)

i beat the internet. the final boss is hard.

Oh no, I know what YOU want. You coveteth my ICE-CREAM BAR!
No you don't! You can't take it from me now.
I've had this ice-cream bar since I was a CHILD! People... always trying to take it from me!
Why won't they LEAVE ME ALOOOOOONNNNE?

fucking hilarious.
http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=68984&cid=6302778. if you know who posted this, let me know.

reprinted here for your convenience, without permission:

bloodninja: Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight?
BritneySpears14: Aight.
bloodninja: Slip out of those pants baby, yeah.
BritneySpears14: I slip out of my pants, just for you, bloodninja.
bloodninja: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears14: Oh, I like to play dress up.
bloodninja: Me too baby.
BritneySpears14: I kiss you softly on your chest.
bloodninja: I cast Lvl. 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.
BritneySpears14: Hey...
bloodninja: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl. 8 Cock of the Infinite.
BritneySpears14: Funny I still don't see it.
bloodninja: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty F*ck of the Beyondness.
BritneySpears14: You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous.
bloodninja: Don't f*ck with me bitch, I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the lands.
bloodninja: I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl. 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl. 2 Druid.
BritneySpears14: Don't ever message me again you piece of ****.
bloodninja: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal.
bloodninja: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.
bloodninja: You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now.
bloodninja: Baby?
--------------
bloodninja: Ok baby, we got to hurry, I don't know how long I can keep it ready for you.
j_gurli3: thats ok. ok i'm a japanese schoolgirl, what r u.
bloodninja: A Rhinocerus. Well, hung like one, thats for sure.
j_gurli3: haha, ok lets go.
j_gurli3: i put my hand through ur hair, and kiss u on the neck.
bloodninja: I stomp the ground, and snort, to alert you that you are in my breeding territory.
j_gurli3: haha, ok, u know that turns me on.
j_gurli3: i start unbuttoning ur shirt.
bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't wear shirts.
j_gurli3: No, ur not really a Rhinocerus silly, it's just part of the game.
bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't play games. They f*cking charge your ass.
j_gurli3: stop, cmon be serious.
bloodninja: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ass.
bloodninja: I stomp my feet, the dust stirs around my tough skinned feet.
j_gurli3: thats it.
bloodninja: Nostrils flaring, I lower my head. My horn, like some phallic symbol of my potent virility, is the last thing you see as skulls collide and mine remains the victor. You are now a bloody red ragdoll suspended in the air on my mighty horn.
bloodninja: Goddam am I hard now.
--------------
BritneySpears14: Ok, are you ready?
eminemBNJA: Aight, yeah I'm ready.
BritneySpears14: I like your music Em... Tee hee.
eminemBNJA: huh huh, yeah, I make it for the ladies.
BritneySpears14: Mmm, we like it a lot. Let me show you.
BritneySpears14: I take off your pants, slowly, and massage your muscular physique.
eminemBNJA: Oh I like that Baby. I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears14: What the f*ck, I told you not to message me again.
eminemBNJA: Oh ****
BritneySpears14: I swear if you do it one more time I'm gonna report
your ISP and say you were sending me kiddie porn you f*ck up.
eminemBNJA: Oh ****
eminemBNJA: damn I gotta write down your names or something

sometimes you just want to have a record of how things are, so you can see how it changed. since there's no obvious way to tell when you were added or removed from people's various lists, i thought i'd archive mine for future diffing.

friends
---------------------
'Lose', Not 'Loose' (629426)
asparagirl (69545)
Bruce Perens (3872)
Chetmurray (216997)
CmdrTaco (1)
IN SOVIET RUSSIA (621411)
intermodal (534361)
mao che minh (611166)
nomadic (141991)
odigity (266563)
pchan- (118053)
thr0d ps1t (641973)
TrollBack (544159)
TrollBurger (575126)
TrumpetPower! (190615)
Vince (4999)
YOU ARE SO FIRED! (635925)
YOU ARE THE FAILURE! (631092)
YOU DID IT! (630541)
YOU FAIL IT! (624257)

fans
---------------------
ajiva (156759)
cortana (588495)
Elwood P Dowd (16933)
ez76 (322080)
Herr_Nightingale (556106)
mao che minh (611166)
MondoMor (262881)
odigity (266563)
p00p (630992)
pchan- (118053)
Pyrosophy (259529)
random_rabbit (647072)
slashdot_commentator (444053)
twentycavities (556077)
vegasa (642334)
Zorikin (49410)

foes
---------------------
$$$$$exyGal (638164)
cscx (541332)
dizco (20340)
ekrout (139379)
HeroicAutobot (171588)
HeX86 (536126)
idiotnot (302133)
Jouster (144775)
No More Trolls (544787)
Theo DeRaadt (322600)
Troll Blacklist (629503)

freaks
---------------------
dizco (20340)
HeroicAutobot (171588)
HeX86 (536126)
idiotnot (302133)
Jouster (144775)

wtf is up with archived threads?
i mean, i could understand if my older journal threads were archived when i posted new stuff. but seriously, this is bullshit.

btw, i really like the monkey icon. everyone likes monkeys.

no, don't. chicken is fake meat. real meat doesn't come from birds.

the slashdot dupe challenge is underway.
the goal is to resubmit a story that's already been posted in the past few days. then you must claim victory (with your logged in submitter name) near first post.

there's no scoring system yet, so i'm open to ideas. bonus if you can get the exact same text posted twice.

okay, this is going to sound stupid, but try it. really, go ahead.

go to google

type in "google" into the search box (without the quotes).

hit "i'm feeling lucky".

it does exactly what you'd expect it to do. but for some reason, it's fucking hilarious. try it.

it strikes me that i've never seen someone use a goatse.cx link through google's "i'm feeling lucky".

it seems to work well, even though it doesn't take you directly to goatse.cx. they probably took that out to protect the innocent, but no matter, it still works nicely.

http://www.google.com/search?q=goatse.cx&btnI=I'm%20Feeling%20Lucky

here's what you do get:

$ telnet www.google.com 80
Trying 216.239.53.98...
Connected to www.google.com.
Escape character is '^]'.
GET /search?q=goatse.cx&btnI=I'm%20Feeling%20Lucky HTTP/1.0
Host: www.google.com

HTTP/1.0 302 Found
Connection: Close
Date: Fri, 13 Dec 2002 02:48:56 GMT
Set-Cookie: PREF=ID=56a49a2d48c62cf1:TM=1039747736:LM=1039747736:S=r3QY7sqsqrvA-kAU; expires=Sun, 17-Jan-2038 19:14:07 GMT; path=/; domain=.google.com
Cache-control: private
Content-Type: text/html
Location: http://www.conhugeco.org/goatse.cx/
Server: GWS/2.0
Content-length: 165

<HTML><HEAD><TITLE>302 Moved</TITLE></HEAD><BODY>
<H1>302 Moved</H1>
The document has moved
<A HREF="http://www.conhugeco.org/goatse.cx/">here</A>.
</BODY></HTML>
Connection closed by foreign host.

so, disguising this as a google cache link (mirror!) should be trivial. and the big fake cache link url can hide the search term in the end. for extra precautions, search for a site that bounces to goatse.cx, and use a foreign language's "i'm feeling lucky" equivalent button.

i think we must ask ourselves, where are we, as the slashdot troll and troll-hobbyist headed in this new millenium?

we have seen some good memes (all your base, in soviet russia, ...) come. we've seen innovations such as the goatse.cx ascii art and redirection through yahoo and others. the first post remains a favorite, and i dare say more-exciting by the anti-fp countermeasures implemented. troll-turned-running-gag such as 'bsd is dying' and 'stephen king is dead' are everpresent. but natalie portman and hot grits have nearly died off. others have turned into pop-culture cliches, and no self respecting troll would even consider ('beowulf cluster'). i'm sure i've left out many others.

some of my favorite innovations have been the "you lose it!" and "'lose' not 'loose'" trolls. continuing in the fine tradition of comp.unix.shell's "unnecessary use of 'cat'" award, these up the ante on posting. i see a "'you're', not 'your'" in the near future. this (when applied to traditional non-troll posts) may open up a whole new field of grammer trolling, once they are sufficiently recognized and copied to strike fear in the hearts of posters.

here are some predictions for the coming years:

longest-subreplies in one thread troll. this requires cooperation, but no planning (if people get on the ball). how many levels of nesting does the slashdot comment system allow? only one way to find out.

duplicate claims. while i have a feeling this is going on already, it seems to me that sending a reworded copy of each story to every slashdot editor might not be such a bad idea. the winner who has had his story dupe-posted can then claim victory and point out the editor's inadequecies in first-post proximity.

comment sequence guessing. simply a comment that contains within it the comment id number that it approximates it will get. haven't given much thought to feasibility yet. might turn into an artform.

binaries. in my experiments, i've found slashdot comments top out at 50 kilobytes. here is a nice test posting of ~40kb of uuencoded binary (50kb encoded). i think there is tremendous potential in putting binaries on a public server with good speed.

robots. yes, trollbots are for pussies, but they have their place. how about a "duplicate story" bot, that attempts to recognize dupes by keywords and posts the original story. it might then proceed to post all 5-rated comments in the new discussion too, to raise its own karma.

html injection/corruption via the slash url-previewer mechanism. someone has to be able to exploit this. i've tried some interesting things involving recursive urls and some other ideas, but no luck so far.