.. that I have to bend over to have my next passport photograph taken..?

As stated on the comment thread of the article, the option to create a local account still is there, but not in the most obvious place.

Also had a Nexus 7 LTE, and loved it; later got another 7-inch LTE tablet by Acer (I think it was). Would love to find the next one, as software updates for the Acer thing have ceased (as well as for the Nexus, of course).

So, quick specs:
- 7in (ok, possibly now 8in might be possible, but with external dimensions no bigger than Nexus7 was, preferably even a little bit shorter)
- LTE / 4G (and also older mobile network technologies, see below..)
- 1920x1200 or above image resolution, good color balance/accuracy
- balanced across CPU/GPU power / battery usage; doesn't need to have "top CPU/GPU"
- preferably a bit lighter than Nexus 7
- good mobile/Wifi antennas (as size shouldn't be an issue, no reason to compromise on this)
- IPx8 rating would be a nice bonus ... rationale for these:
- to be used as a Wifi relay/local base station when hiking/boating in areas further out of regular mobile coverage
-- needs good antennas, needs the lower-frequency cellular support for covering longer distances
-- size and weight to fit nicely in a cargo pocket/larger jacket pocket
-- overall, there's just no reason to suffer bad displays even with the smaller tablets, though vendors seem to disagree, and produce designs with crap displays and sell just by pushing the price down..
-- having a good "large display" allows to have a smaller phone, as the phone doesn't need to try to double as the not-so-big big display

Am I alone here, or could you see a market for such a thing?

I should read it again, too. And I also should look for a copy of Count Zero, as that's one that is missing from my bookshelf.

You should read all the three; Mona Lisa Overdrive binds together a number of threads from the earlier books (as a conclusion of a trilogy should). All the three bounce quite a bit in time, place as well as persons, so these books are something to read in alert state; you need to keep quite a big record in your mind about all the things underway and persons interacting. The other way (which I think I should try some day) would be to read these while jotting the things down in a notebook, for later references.

I'd say these books are something that need to be reread for a few times before actually understanding the story (but then, I'm not a native English speaker, so that may have an effect). Also , they're not to be read in a hurry (like "I don't get this part, I'll just skip it and read on"). There's just too much to miss on a casual reading.