I forget, what's a 1? For a score? Total boring loser? Hello? A LOT of people think I'm funny... All the time, people are like, you should totally be a stand up comedian. Have I done it? No. Why should I? There is soooooooo much in technology to be done, but comedy? Ha--it's all been done. Bill Cosby with the kids and chocolate cake, Woody Allen--I'm just a depressed Jew with a hard-on--honey, can I buy you a drink? And 'ol Buddy Hacket jerking off in the corner. Here's a tip, watch the Love Bug movies or Buddy's stand-up act--don't watch both--you'll never get the taste out of you mouth, at least I never have.

Don't say anything to Verizon, but it looks like Red Sox tickets are going up (again!!) I, for one, was a LOT happier when we were heart breaking losers... Ah, the good old days. I'm telling you, it was something to see, they would get so close every year, then cut out your heart, dash your brains in, and stomp on your mid-section--but, you could walk right up to the gate and get tickets any time you wanted. It was awesome, really. Now, it's a mess--nobody goes there anymore, it's too, too, oh >boo hoo hoo Did I mention Smelt night? Never mind, that's when I was a Yankees fan (youthful indiscretion, my church prayed for me and it's behind me now.)

Here's their IM campaign: toyotamarketing: *heavy breathing* ambermate: who the hell is this? toyotamarketing: what are you wearing? ambermate: i'm calling the police toyotamarketing: is your husband home? ambermate: 9-1-1 toyotamarketing: they can't stop me, i'm driving a prius with the all new Pre-Collision System ambermate: you crazy f%^k, i have a shotgun toyotamarketing: i have Driver and front passenger Advanced Airbag System ambermate: FUCK OFF!!!!!!!!! toyotamarketing: lol--tell you what? i won't come over if you come down to the dealership tomorrow... i'll make you an offer you can't refuse ;-)

Ugggh, if you can't stand the bash-wagon, get off the bus.