I was at the grocery store earlier wondering why there were smelly, dirty teenagers sitting here and there on the floor of the place, all of them rocking back and forth holding various items whose names began with B. Most of them were just muttering the word "faggots" over and over again, but there were two or three who were talking to the pictures on product boxes saying things like "tits or gee tee eff oh" and "winrar." Exactly seven of them were masturbating openly. The rest were being discreet, I'm sure. Now I know.

Maybe once the government and providers succeed in destroying the internet, people will go back to actually talking to each other face-to-face and forming connections with one another. Then maybe they'll finally get mad. Mad, and guns.

if you have a boat with which we might position my weather machine (and set it to the OMFGBIGSTORM setting)...we may just be able to take serious advantage of this situation

If it were me, I dunno if I'd come out of hiding to answer dubious sexual assault charges at a time when I was also possibly sort of running from the CIA.