:-D Cogswell Cogs will win!

I was at the pub the other night, and a rather arrogant young PHP programmer -- a one N Kolokov, apparently a Ruskie) got into it with me, a proud C++ programmer. My opponent had a Lochaber Axe, and I had a Halberd. On the surface, the mere name "axe" makes it sound as if the Lacahber Axe would have been the winner, but not by a long shot. I tell ye this, the oaf was at a severe disadvantage. After accidentally taking out a couple cute scantily-clad beer maids who happen to be standing too close (and both opponents pausing the melee to provide the requisite mouth-to-mouth resuscitation to revive said beer maids), it quickly became clear that I had the upper hand, even though my lanky opponent towered a good three hands above me. Who knew -- three hands of PHP equals one hand of C++ when armed (or handed) with an instance of a C++ Halberd class over an instance of a PHP Lochaber Axe "class" (the aforementioned "class" being in quotes, as everyone knows PHP's classes do not comprise true object oriented programming, unlike C++). Of course, the fact that I weigh a full 650 pounds and can lift a bull prior to eating it in its entirety, whereas Mr. Kolokov -- a protein-starved vegetarian I might add -- weighs a mere 98 pounds might have had something to do with it. But I digress. All ye hands to the Halberd. And both beer maids went home with yours truly, a proud C++ programmer, where we explored the true meaning of polymorphism.