what has brought me here? i find myself surrounded by foreign lands and foreign people. i feel it closing in.

there seem to be no footholds out here. i have come a long way and now i have found myself at a sort of impasse. although the approach was quite difficult i didn't think too much about the point where there is no return. i didn't realize that there would things would come to this. i am slipping and am finding it quite difficult to get foot hold on anything. i quickly dashed through my phone list...looking for that familiar voice that person that could offer me solid grip on the reality that

i left on Monday October 20th 2003 at 2:00am MT. i am not sure exactly where i went, but i am pretty sure that i have not yet returned.

i often wake in the early hours of the morning in a complete state of confusion. i am completely unware of both my geographical location and my mental states. i wake as if my heart and mind have been occupied by an empty void. my mind, as if in a dark room, searches frantically to find its bearings. the tremendous weight from the emptiness is suffocating. as i rouse myself through furious thought and attempts at recollection the actuality and reality slowly dawns on me. the void, the empti

often i have the problem that i read something, see something or by some means assimilate a new bit of knowledge which then becomes nameless. although these bits of knowledge get 'thrown into the mix' as it were, becomming a small part of the various tools used for cognition the ability to recall the nuances of how they stimulated your curiosity or imagination become ellusive. ofcourse one can take copious notes and have files of journal entries etc. to both emphasize importance in ones memory a

well a new day has dawned. i have finally joined /. as a user proper.