...of course, Chattanooga's EPB apparently has symmetrical upload/download speeds and, as of a few months ago, had no caps. Therefore, the entertainment value is greatly diminished as you wouldn't get to scream your way into the brick wall of a bandwidth cap.

Move to Chattanooga, Tennessee and you can get close with 1Gbps:

• https://epbfi.com/internet/
• http://tech.slashdot.org/story/10/09/13/2040211/Gigabit-Speeds-At-Home-In-the-US

I realize it's 500 Mbps slower than 1.5 Gbps, but given those speeds and current consumer capabilities, what's 500 Mbps among friends? (at least for the next few months)