They better not have an energy surge while scanning the quantum fissure. It would be very difficult to enter the fissure and emit the required broad spectrum warp field to restore it to it's normal state with current technology.

MFP can be used for GAINING as well as losing. That's what I primarily use it for. It's handy to have an app to make sure I get enough total Calories and enough protein to support those gains in a healthy way.
That said, the loss of the scanning convenience and the steep monthly cost might move me to try one of the alternatives.

So if I spend tens of thousands of hours in Excel, I might get lucky and win a trip to Tucson?
I'm thinking that these guys might need to use their amazing spreadsheet skills to do a cost/benefit analysis of how they're spending their time and expertise.

When will they add a subscription for enabling turn signals on BMWs? Or is that not available due to hardware limitations?

I'm not sure I'd count on that. Monopolies are bad whether they're private or government monopolies.
If the cultural winds are blowing one way and Citi decides that they won't allow money transfers for abortion services, then I can switch to BoA. If the winds blow the other way and BoA decides that they won't allow firearm transactions, I can switch to my local credit union. If the Fed is the only game in town, then whichever way the winds blow, they've got a monopoly and I don't have much choice. Perhaps they "can not engage in financial censorship of legal conduct" but it seems like that should be true of a lot of government agencies and in practice it is not.
I think we always need to ask ourselves how much power we want to give to a government monopoly and assume that the opposite political party is going to be in power next year. Sometimes it's appropriate, but often times it should give us pause.

I hear that Stephen Elop is available.

Isn't this the same Alexa that told an inexperienced person to stick a fork in an electrical outlet?
I'm sure there's no problem doing something similar in space. Shirley, Starliner is designed with perfect hardware and software that will be flawless even if an inexperienced tourist is told by Alexa to short out some circuits.

If you plug the car in to your house, it'll rootkit your smart-speakers to make sure you're not playing any unauthorized music.

You beat me to it. Shelf-paper is prior art.

The paper lists no competing interests, but one of the authors is from PlantPure Communities, Inc, whos mission includes helping "educate people about evidence-based nutrition that shows that optimal health may be achieved through a whole food, plant-based (WFPB) diet."
When they're the ones coming up with the evidence, it seems like they might possibly have a particular outcome in mind when starting the study.

Again, they had a control group. They compared medical masks, cloth masks, and no masks:
"The rate of CRI was highest in the cloth mask arm, followed by the control arm, and lowest in the medical mask arm. The same trend was seen for ILI and laboratory tests confirmed viral infections. In intention-to-treat analysis, ILI was significantly higher among HCWs in the cloth masks group (RR=13.25 and 95% CI 1.74 to 100.97), compared with the medical masks group. The rate of ILI was also significantly higher in the cloth masks arm (RR=3.49 and 95% CI 1.00 to 12.17), compared with the control arm."
I wish I could post the charts here, but you'll just have to read the study yourself. Don't take my word for it. The facts are there for you to see for yourself.

You must have missed the part where the authors said:
"Medical and cloth masks were used by some participants in the control group, but the poor performance of cloth masks persisted in post hoc analysis when we compared all participants who used medical masks (from the control and the medical mask groups) with all participants who used only a cloth mask (from the control and the cloth mask groups)"

Here's your Citation(s): https://wwwnc.cdc.gov/eid/arti...
"we conducted a randomized controlled trial to compare the efficacy of cloth masks with that of medical masks and controls (standard practice) among [1607] healthcare workers in Vietnam. Rates of infection were consistently higher among those in the cloth mask group than in the medical mask and control groups. This finding suggests that risk for infection was higher for those wearing cloth masks. The mask tested was a locally manufactured, double-layered cotton mask."
Here's a link to the actual peer reviewed study published in the BMJ: https://bmjopen.bmj.com/conten...

I tried listing "human" in the box labeled "race" on a government form once, and was told that what they really wanted was my skin color. I tried writing "tan", and that didn't work either.
You're right, and I hope we get there someday.

That's why I stopped buying Girl Scout Cookies!