Comment Nothing to see here... (Score 2) 234
We investigated ourselves and found we are definitely not responsible for, and therefore cannot be held to account, the single biggest global health disaster in the modern world. Everybody can rest easy and focus their attention elsewhere, since we have concluded beyond any doubt that WE did NOTHING wrong. Some of you have brought up that, in the early days of the pandemic, ALLEGED researchers CLAIMING to be affiliated with us or to have intimate knowledge of our labs, policies, and procedures have made statements that some could conclude indicated the string possibility that WE were the source of the virus and may have been responsible for its escape into the wild. Let me assure you that we found these people to be obvious traitors and spies spreading false information in order to undermine our great civilization and they have since voluntarily submitted to reeducation and have renounced their prior acts of seditious evil. He assured that we conducted the most thorough investigation and found ourselves not only not responsible for this pandemic but any subsequent pandemics that may or may not occur in the future. No peer review or outside, impartial investigation is necessary. Thank you, and all hail Megatron...
