Many people (even those with the title "software engineer") believe that there are no software engineers....but they are wrong.
I work in the avionics industry, and regularly engineer software that runs on the aircraft's primary flight display. I can't compare the rigor of SW engineering to civil engineering, but I can compare it to electrical engineering (I work closely with teams of systems and electrical engineers). From an aviation certification perspective, software engineering is at least as rigorous as electrical engineering.
Actual software engineering (at least from my experience) is about 10% "writing source code". That 10% includes reviewing source code that others have written. I would guess that about 40% of effort is spent in iterations of requirements capture and generating designs, and the final 50% is testing. Designs includes things like "requirement says X action must occur no later than 4 ms after Y event is detected, and since the scheduler runs at 100 Hz we cannot use a thread to invoke the action - so the action must be called from the thread/task that detects the event". Unlike typical "cowboy programming", there is a lot of focus on minimum performance in worst case conditions, error handling, hardware fault detection etc. Testing includes the standard "requirement says transmit X packet when Y condition is met, so induce Y and check for X" to "manually verify that compiler generated the expected object code given the source code". Additionally, for the highest safety levels (think large commercial passenger aircraft) every line of code will be executed during test, every possible branch will be taken during test, and all "truth tables" will be fully exercised during test. Google DO-178C MCDC
The final software produced is of exceptional quality (obviously) and is written in C or Ada (no OO, no interpreted languages). If the system will use an OS (many don't - some are runtime executables instead of applications) it won't be Windows Embedded or Linux. It would be a certified OS (Integrity-178, LynxOS-178, or VxWorks Cert).
One final observation - there are basically no hipsters where I work. It's pretty much all 30-50 year old men, dress shirts and slacks.