If you're upset about ATM fees, there's a simple solution.

JOIN A CREDIT UNION. The restrictions that many had in the past are mostly long gone. If you look around there's probably one near you that will let you join because you live in the area it services. They're more customer oriented than most banks these days.

They have access to ATM machines. Not just the ones for the CU, but also on the CO-OP network.

And where do you find CO-OP network ATMs? Hard to find places like, 7-11 stores. Must be about a million billion of them. Yes, no fees for using your card there.

Because we're Americans, you insensitive clod!

And you'll still need to know or learn the important stuff, you know...

MVS/zOS, JCL, COBOL, CICS, IMS...

Just because the colleges are, more or less, up to date, doesn't mean your future employer is.

Not bad for a NCAA Division II Sports school. Go Tritons.

Dell: Dude, you're getting a Dell!

Customer: Shit!

It's back to COBOL for you wankers.

Listen to the background music. It's a Mission:Impossible riff from the original TV series. How appropriate.

More likely, his machine's so old, he has to use floppies to backup his pr0n collection!

with all the deliterious effects left in, has finally arrived.

"You vill go our schools. Ve haf vays of making you go to our schools!"

The SysReq key goes back to the IBM System/360 mainframe. It didn't have a CRT as the operator console, it had a modified IBM selectric typewriter-type (with the patented ball type element) as the operator console. It was a model 1052.

Because of the slow print speed (less than 15 characters per second), the mainframe OS could spew out a lot of messages (some cryptic in nature to someone not familiar with the system) on paper. In order to prevent confusion, the keyboard was locked by default and you had to press the SysReq key on the keyboard and wait for the system to unlock the keyboard (and that might take a bit) to allow the operator to enter commands.

I actually saw one in use at a PPOE, on an IBM System 360/50. You just had to live with it.

The next generation IBM System 370 systems initially came with the same type of console, but they later introduced the much faster 3215 console keyboard/printer, which I think used a dot-matrix type print element. Still had to use the SysReq key to be allowed to enter commands.

Two words....

Diplomatic Immunity...