It would've been awesome if the patents were actually some really hardcore CRM/sales models. Not some arbitrary "webpage with menus" crap :(

I too once received a knighthood: "Dear Sir.... I am writing you on behalf of the exile king of ........ Our kingdom would like to reward you the golden cross, our highest recommendations, a knighthood. In exchange for this great honor, we would like you to help with releasing the frozen accounts of the king, by allowing a small sum to pass through your account ....."