It's been challenging for us, but definitely worthwhile. We've jumped on anything that can be mutually enjoyed, but we also give each other space for the things one enjoys that the other does not. I take one night off a week and disappear into the local coffee shop to do 'deep geekery' (i.e. programming for fun), which helps a lot. Also, being correct in an argument does not necessarily create a win-win situation; sometimes it's a lose:lose. Learning what really needs to be communicated is one of the eternal learning curves, but over time you begin to realize when your spouse wants a breakdown of topic x and when the topic is simply the foil for a deeper issue that needs to be communicated. Depending on what you two are like, 100% may not always be possible. Get as close to that line as possible (hint: if you're comfortable, it's probably not honest enough), but there are some things (history of ex's, for example; knowing that you've known other women and have moved on is often enough, unless there is a compelling, specific reason to go into the lurid details of the past) that usually aren't necessary and weaken the bridges you're building. Don't get too caught up in roles. I never drive the car, and we alternate with child-care when I'm home. We have always made decision making (esp. big decisions) require a unanimous vote. No coercion, no unilateral votes; it requires one to learn to communicate right away, and if a decision can't be settled on we try and find a third option or simply drop it. hope that helps

I worked with Christian youth in Kuwait for a couple years, and with the males, there was far more than a third that were into metal; it was closer to 90 percent that listened to it regularly, with a solid 50-60% heavily into various death/black/thrash metal bands [Children of Bodom, Extol and Kekal being notable favorites]. Musicianship was highly regarded, and many of these same individuals were skilled musicians themselves [classical, jazz and rock] and many listened to uncommon jazz and classical as well. [Uncommon being aside from cultural norms; things like select Opera, modern classical and Dizzy Gillespie/Mile Davis in the late 60's]. These youth were multinational, being Canadian, Indian, Philipino, American and others, most being raised in Kuwait. This trend even carried over to some of the females, although to a lesser extent. Interesting results, and I enjoyed the article.