I'm actually quite surprised that in all of the replies here, no one has remembered the actual solution for keeping branch office, departement, floor, room number etc. with a machines name.
It's called a subdomain and it rather works somewhat like this: x.dept.city.company.tld, so you'd get e.g. 01.accounting.amsterdam.acme.com. You can let the workstation get its hostname and domain information through a rather useful system called DHCP. In most cases, this is already being used to configure IP addresses, and given these addresses can change, the odds are pretty high that you already HAVE a database of names which already HAS a key for each record.
You can make as many subdomains as you like, and you can even delegate them to the seperate branches, departements, your stepmother or whatever you like. This also makes the system work more distributed, like the Internet, so if one nameserver dies it can never take down the entire network. Cool, huh?
By that definition, if Firefox would limit network traffic to a mere 28kbps it would be on top. And RMS would browse the web faster then anyone.
I wonder if the faster warmboot times under XP are due to its prefetching functionality. Another benchmark with prefetching disabled could determine this. Maybe Ubuntu or other distributions can try adding prefetch functionality to their distributions and put Windows where it belongs, (at) last.
A dutch version of TFA: http://www.autoblog.nl/archive/2008/08/04/hengelo-krijgt-straat-met-luchtzuiverend-beton
If you had better tools, you could more effectively demonstrate your total incompetence.