If you can kill 100 of the enemy but it means killing one unarmed woman its a tough choice but one that needs made. How many of your innocent brothers and sisters would those 100 kill? Is their life or your life worth less than hers?
The short answer is that, yes, your life and the life of your military comrades-in-arms IS worth less than hers.
That is a tough choice emotionally, but rationally it is actually not a tough choice. You (in the given example) are a soldier. Your job is not just to kill; your job is also to die, if absolutely necessary. If the choice is between a soldier dying and a civilian dying, the soldier should die. He's a soldier. That's his job. He puts himself in harm's way so that others may be protected from harm; this is entirely the definition of a soldier in a modern society, and is the reason their service is heroic. In the case of Afghanistan, those others are the Afghan people (whatever "Afghan people" means in a country which is mostly a bunch of different tribes warring with each other, but that's another issue). Sacrificing the lives of civilians in order to protect soldiers may make sense to a Captain on the ground, and it may well be the only realistic way to win a war, but it is NOT morally justifiable.
To head off any accusations, I don't believe this means I am cheapening the life of the soldier or suggesting his life be thrown away for nothing. I am suggesting exactly the opposite. His life is enormously valuable precisely because he is sometimes asked to sacrifice it. His duty is: to die, if necessary, so that others may live. His duty is NOT: to die, in the worst case, but also sometimes to live at the expense of noncombatants.
Military thinking since the First World War has, to varying degree, suggested that killing civilians of an adversary is preferable to losing your own soldiers. World War Two saw this whole-scale with the leveling of entire cities with various methods. The number of American lives that would be lost in an invasion of Japan was seen as justification for the use of atomic weapons against Japanese civilians (as well as justification for the conventional bombing of population centers throughout the war). This was considered acceptable at the time (and makes sense, in the context of that war), but I do not think it carries moral weight. The life of a soldier is to be taken before the life of a civilian, period. That's the whole point. That is what distinguishes OUR army, the army of a (at its best, which is by no means all the time) rational, democratic society, from the Taliban, Al-Qaeda, and some Iraqi insurgent groups, which are fielded by pathological leaders completely willing, and in many cases desiring, to sacrifice the lives of civilians.
This is the only moral basis for the use of force by a democratic society, and while obviously idealistic, the closer we get to that ideal the more moral authority we will be able to assert to having.
If an airstrike will save the lives of some number of American soldiers, but there is reasonable suspicion that the same airstrike could kill some number of civilians (as there very often will be, in the chaos of Afghanistan), it seems to me entirely obvious that there should be no airstrike. It is not morally justified.
Will more soldiers die?
Yes.
Will more civilians live?
Yes.
It's as simple as that.
The American military is as powerful as it is despite its relatively small size mostly because of air power. We should reign in the air power to a point where it is almost never employed in the defense of American soldiers, IF that deployment will kill ANY civilians, whether those civilians are American citizens, foreign citizens, anyone. This would mean a much larger Army and a much smaller Air Force. That is the way it should be.
Smart munitions are great. That is an enormous step in the right direction. But they are still used with less than 100% certainty on the nature of the target. In the leaked documents that are the subject of this thread, a smart munition is employed on an abandoned fuel truck with little to no attempt to verify that the persons around the fuel truck are actually Taliban fighters. That is completely unacceptable. There is no excuse for it, period, and those involved should be removed of their duty. There were not any soldiers in direct and imminent danger from the people around the fuel truck, and even if there WERE, say, some Americans down the road who might have been about to be ambushed, the mere possibility of killing one hundred civilians by mistake should have been enough to stay the trigger.
In another prominent event leaked by WikiLeaks, an Apache attacks and kills five or six men who, whether they are armed are not, are not actively firing at anyone, American or otherwise. If they had been hostile insurgents (which they, pretty obviously in hindsight, were not), the situations were such that they may have been able to attack nearby American soldiers. EVEN THEN they still should not have been fired upon until it was certain who they were AND that attacking them would not kill civilians. In simplified and more basic terms, they have to pull the trigger first. That will mean more American soldiers will die; it also means more civilians will live. The moral imperative there is obvious.
Wars fought with such a philosophy would mean much bloodier wars for our side. This means we should be even more careful in the decision to apply force, that "establishing democracy" or "providing freedom" for or to a given people is taken very, very seriously, because we are not just asking our soldiers to kill for the liberty of others; we are asking them to, sometimes, and quite literally, die instead of others, some if not all of whom are not even American citizens, in order to secure their liberty. American air power has fooled us into thinking that wars can be won with little to no loss of life, which is not true; they can be won by air power with little to no loss of AMERICAN lives. Yes, civilian death tolls are much lower today than they were in wars of the past. They are still not low enough. If there is no way to ensure the safety of BOTH the American soldiers and the local civilians of a given engagement, American soldiers SHOULD die before civilians die.
Is this difficult? Yes. Does it require even more bravery from those already brave soldiers we ask to do our warfighting? Yes. Is it the only morally defensible means by which a rational society can conduct a war? Yes.