I always read about how our QWERTY typewriters were designed to deliberately 'slow' you down. I even taught this to my classes of elementary and middle school students.
Do elementary teachers have a quota of old wives tales and myths to impart to their students? QWERTY typewriters were designed to avoid mechanical jams resulting from commonly used keys being too close together.
I pulled out my Mavis Beacon Teaches Typing manual (in the days when they came with paper manuals) to compare the results of these 5th graders with the Dvorak keyboard. I was stunned, as they matched almost perfectly.
You were stunned to learn that a layout based on statistical frequencies of English letters closely matched a statistical sampling of English letters?
If young children without a bias come up with the same result, there is a rightness and a logic to it.
Your wife will be calling to make sure you remembered to pick everybody up.
If all else fails, lower your standards.