... not this crude matter.

... need to wear their underwear on the outside?

Does Hot Fudge Sundae fall on Tuesdae this year?

Rainbow lives on. \m/

To secure the screws on my glasses I put a drop of boiled linseed oil on the screw head after tightening them. This locks them in place but still allows them to be unscrewed if necessary. A more modern version of this would be to put a drop of blue Loc-Tite on the threads, but I already had the BLO.

This really sounds like a solution in search of a problem. Bifocals and trifocals work, and have no moving parts.

... and nuke it from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.

So use a Smith & Wesson Model 625 revolver. Six rounds of .45 ACP in a full moon clip. :-)