You seem to be under a misaprehension. He's NOT "your sysadmin", he's your outsource company's sysadmin. As others here have said, if that's a problem, hire one yourself and be sure you treat him/her well.

Pumping water uphill would have been invaluable in ancient times.

Ever hear of Archimedes' screw? The Archimedes screw, the Archimedean screw or the screwpump is a machine historically used for transferring water from a low-lying body of water into irrigation ditches. It was one of several inventions and discoveries traditionally attributed to Archimedes in the 3rd century BC.

How ancient do you need to get?

"Because there's no perverts involved in that."

ITYM there are no white children involved in that.

How is the image in question any "worse" than the cover art for Blind Faith?