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Journal eugene ts wong's Journal: Update: avoiding /.; discouragement; Bible stuff & people 18

Journal by eugene ts wong

*****The /. Blackout*****
*****Discouragement*****
*****Bible Stuff*****
*****Positive Notes*****

*****The /. Blackout*****

So, I managed to stay away from /. for about a week, & come back to find FortKnox giving us a reason to not care about modpoints. Oh brother. A whole week of avoidance for nothing. FortKnox, did you wait till I left, on purpose? ;^p As disappointed as I was to read that, I did find some positive aspects.

Having that extra time really showed me how much time I had to do stuff. Unfortunately, I wasted it doing something else. :^( ;^)

Coming back really highlighted all the lame stuff that I rationalized away. I'd like to take a moment to offer up a warning DaytonCIM, CyranoVR, Brent Metzler, & whoever. But 1st, let me tell you about Star Trek Enterprise.

Quite a while ago, I got so fed up with that show, that I decided to do whatever I could to stop watching. It was tough, because I like SciFi, & it's hard for me to break out of a habit. 1 day, an espisode came along about suicide bombing [that is, if I understood the commercial preview correctly]. You would think that @ last, here was a show that I just might agree with, & enjoy. After all, who applaudes suicide bombing? I don't. But I refuse to watch that show because they are so consistantly unprecise, that it always makes me angry. Thus, we can see that there is a place where people can get to, that they can't even agree [in the emotional sense] on simple issues. You can become so disrespectful that people won't even care if they agree with you.

So, I warn you, be careful about what you journal about. I honestly think that you're just on a soapbox preaching your own beliefs. Don't bother quoting anything or trying to prove your statements, because I'm not easily convinced, & I'm getting tired of people making no effort to meet on the same page.

Do any of you really think that you're making a difference? Perhaps.

On a more positive note, I do appreciate baldass_newbie's comment about Bush being very moderate. It makes sense. People on both sides benefited, & they both criticize.

I don't mean to flatter him, but 1 of the main reasons that I like hearing his opinion is because we don't agree, but it's easy to see where we agree & meet on that page. Hmm, I'm sure that there's more than that. gmhowell rates well, also. A lot of you rate well, too: FortKnox, sql kitten. Everybody else falls into 4 categories:
* "we're awesome but Eugene is forgetful"
* "we're awesome for reasons unrelated to politics & religion"
* "we're above average but we think that we're awesome"
* "we're below average but we refuse to admit it"
* "I'm Eugene but I refuse to rate myself because I'm below average, & I didn't realize that I had 5 categories"

*****Discouragement*****

A lot of things have been going well, but overall things have been discouraging.

I haven't done any work on that transit project that I created. I had really hoped to have finished a lot of the promoting by the end of this month. I feel like such a harsh failure.

Work is better. Did I tell you that I got another raise @ the end of January? Well, I did get 1. I never realized how little I'm getting paid, till just a few minutes ago. If I get the same raises @ a consistant frequency, then I'll never have enough of a salary to move out on my own till next year. But then again, I don't work many hours. But then again, I hate my work.

I managed to save up approx. $4,000 since I moved back in with my parents, yet I can't really do anything with that.

I'm thinking of applying for a job with the government tax organization. It's called something like Canada Customs Revenue Agency or something like that. I'm too lazy to look it up. I feel like applying here, because my uncle said that I might like this type of work due to my character make up. Also, as I was preparing my tax forms, I realized that I actually enjoy reading about this stuff. Yes, I know. I'm scared too. ;^)

Another discouraging thing is relationships. I honestly don't know what I'm looking for anymore. I don't know where to go & find it. It's already near the end of March 2004, yet I don't seem to be developing any more relationships. It's very discouraging. My parents & neighbours say that it's okay, & to not worry about age, & not to worry about living with Mom & Dad, but it hurts me so much to think about it. It burns me up to think that I have to live through this.

I honestly want to die so badly, but I'm not suicidal, & I honestly think that it is wrong. So, that means I'm caught between a rock & a hard place. I have to live through this life & make the most of it. What a pain. I need more answers. Money would help too.

After all this discouragement, hearing about SamTheButcher's unfortunate situations [job interview; they decided to hire somebody else] didn't exactly pick me up either. I'll try not to take it too hard, though. He seems to be doing okay. I must say, though, that it bothered me that they asked him about the gateway & the web site problem. That almost seemed too easy, but whatever.

*****Bible Stuff*****

I guess that I've been steadily "learning" myself away from mainstream Christianity. My heavy focus & attention to Old Testament law has really created a different mind set. I now fully embrace the idea that the Bible carries hidden principles in the passages, that tell us about human nature, & help us to live justly & fairly without us even knowing it.

Take for example, how we aren't supposed to muzzle the ox. That to me says that God wants us to give fair wages based on competition, not on what you could get away with. The ox & your other workers will be able to share in the profits of the company. They will have a say on how the company works. We tend to disobey that law by literally muzzling the ox, & forcing our workers to submit to the boss's will.

Just for the record: I still don't support unions.

*****Positive Notes*****

A couple of guys have given me their numbers to keep in touch. They were interesting for the same reason. We discussed religion [& in 1 case politics]. When I was younger [not long ago, unfortunately], I used to get so heated in discussions that I wouldn't really leave on a good footing. Since they offered me their numbers to keep in touch, I sense that I'm doing better. Half of me isn't surprised, because I did manage to find significant common ground with them.

1 fellow in church who doesn't seem to be similar to me @ all, has embarked on this journey to understand how the apostles & early church fathers viewed types [types are representations of various concepts, even though the type may have been a literal event, person or thing]. So, he is trying to see things through their eyes, & I'm trying to see things through their eyes. I'm hoping that this fellow & I will be able to dig up some useful information that will help us both.

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Update: avoiding /.; discouragement; Bible stuff & people More

Update: avoiding /.; discouragement; Bible stuff & people

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  • Comment removed (Score:3, Interesting)

    by account_deleted ( 4530225 ) * on Monday March 29, 2004 @01:29AM (#8700700)
    Comment removed based on user account deletion
    • Thanks for your advice. I really appreciate it.

      I'll have to reread what I wrote, because even though I proof read, I still wonder if I said anything that I'll regret.

      Now, I'll just have to find someone to take it all out on. After all, you did say to enjoy it, & I don't want to be disagreeable. ;^)
  • There are a lot of good things to be said about a pretty traditional theology. On the other hand, your interpretation of the passage about muzzling the ox is correct. There are a couple passages that say we need to treat animals well. Obviously people are more important than animals.

    It's like gleaning. Too often we get nasty about all the little stuff like the tiny bits of wheat that are dropped accidentally. The Hebrews were commanded to wear a little blue to remind them that they were all royalty.

    • It's like gleaning. Too often we get nasty about all the little stuff like the tiny bits of wheat that are dropped accidentally. The Hebrews were commanded to wear a little blue to remind them that they were all royalty. Royalty can't be getting upset when someone drops a tiny bit of grain.

      That's very interesting. I never thought about that. I really appreciate your insight. Thank you.

      I try to be generous and donate cash. I try to tip well. I make more money than many people around me. More money than I nee

  • Hrm. Well, i'm guessing i'm lumped squarely into the "We're all awesome for other reasons," category, but that's nto what i'm going to address right now.

    Instead, i'm-a gonna take you up on your religion stance.

    and i'm gonna agree with it.

    Sure, i'm not a Christian. But i agree that the old testament has a great deal of applicable lessons in it, and i'm thoroughly in favour of examining it that way. I disagree with some of those lessons, but i agree with you about the ox.

    For me, i think of it this

    • I don't mind federal (US) taxes at all. I think they're a great bargain for what we get in return.

      Massachusetts state tax, OTOH, makes me absolutely freaking livid! Not because it's absurdly high (although it is, especially for a wealthy state with enormous property values and I simply do not understand where it's going) but because of the utter arrogance of coming up with a tax procedure that's considerably more complex than the US tax!

      Have you ever had to offset long-term capital gains with losses? The w

    • Thanks for your thoughts on the issues. I'm glad that we see eye to eye on some things.

      I'm sad to have hear about your medical problems. I haven't read in depth about them, but I keep wishing that it would end already, so that you can carry on.

      I think that abolishing an income tax is a good thing as well. I agree with the idea of people tithing 10% to churches, but not for government. I want government to reduce costs. I think that taxing based on spending [ie: sales tax] is better because when you buy lo
      • I have some stuff that will be with me all my life, the rest is in treatment. I'm well past the worst of it, for this go-round, and into the getting well. Convalescence- as long as i stay quiet and behave, i continue to improve. I have to say that the biggest blessing has been the heart meds- who knew i was just overclocked? But it's done me lots of good, and i can actually see progress. I have more strength than i did, and a bit more energy. i also have to say that i'm looking forward to an upcoming adve
  • I now fully embrace the idea that the Bible carries hidden principles in the passages, that tell us about human nature, & help us to live justly & fairly without us even knowing it.

    I agree with you that the Old Testament is a rich source for Christians' looking to hear the word of God, but I wanted to ask what you mean by "hidden"? Does this mean that you appreciate how a passage such as Deut 25:4 is part of the ethical laws of the old covenant that extends into the New and not simply part of the
    • By using the word, "hidden", I mean ideas that weren't expressed word for word. With that muzzling-the-ox passage, I wouldn't have come to the conclusion that the passage was for people. Therefore, I consider that principle [ie: the worker is worth his wages] 1 of the "hidden" meanings of the Bible. It's not really a matter secret codes or anything, but it is complex & not entirely obvious to people who casually read through.

      Does this mean that you appreciate how a passage such as Deut 25:4 is part of t

      • please accept my apologies for taking so long for getting back to you - I didn't mean to be so troll-like - and thank you for such a thoughful answer.

        When I say that I'm learning myself away from Christianity, I'm referring to things like not muzzling the ox. I assume that people will muzzle the ox. Other examples are obeying the speed limit & no jaywalking, because the authorities were put over us by God. Most Christians would muzzle the ox, & they will speed & jaywalk
        I don' think that you
        • There is no rush to reply, so don't worry if you take a bit of time to getting around to replying on /.

          I didn't mean to be so troll-like

          [snip]
          I do not mean to impugne the Christianity of others

          I don't think that you are doing either of those things. You seem to be very polite. Thanks.

          Regarding your other comments, I hope that you learn more about what you seem to want to know. I just find it so difficult to believe the things that those authors wrote. It's not them specifically, but those views. Those view

          • Those views require a reading of the New Testament before we can agree to how to sort out those laws. The tones of voices & word choices used by the Lord Jesus Christ & the Apostle Paul seem to indicate that we should have known this already.

            Our historic and cultural distance from scripture certainly adds obstacles to understanding - but not insurmountable ones, especially if we have help from commentaries that we approach critically (I hope this is the case, I do not expect to be learning Greek
            • Salvation is impossible through the Law - fallen man can't even do as he is told. Grace not works is our only hope. But it is available to us. That is the Good News! Yes, of course you know this, I just have to mention it - especially this week
              Why this week?
  • i've wanted to die. i've even been pretty close to going through with it. there were things that kept me from it, though. one being that even though i tried to convince myself otherwise, i knew that there really were other people that cared deeply about me. when someone has a low self opinion, it's easy for him to project those feelings for himself onto others. doesn't make it true, though. another thing that stopped me was thinking that it's not worth it. as much as i felt bad about my life, it wasn

    • anyway eugene, i'm sorry if i bug you with my advice and ideas. i feel strongly about my own opinion, but i share it try to help not to show off.

      Yes, you do bug me! No, no, just kidding! Seriously, I appreciate your advice & ideas. I guess this journal entry was my way of asking for help without asking. I really need help. You words do pick me up.

      Regarding suicide, 1 of things that I realize about suicide is that it can actually hurt & offend others, as opposed to just make them sad. I mean, what i

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