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United States

Journal Journal: Be on guard for Muslim attack

The Middle East affords the True American tourist many pleasures, from exotic sand to hilarious local architecture and highly affordable prostitution. But no matter how enjoyable the sights and sounds, your heart will inevitably stray to your glorious homeland. Luckily, the weary True American traveler can enjoy the best a foreign country has to offer simply by visiting the nearest U.S. Embassy.

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