Prostitutes don't take cards.

Did it strike you left to right or right to left?

That is a wonderful description of the difference between "good" and "well". :)

That reminds me of this Seinfeld exchange:

Elaine: Well here's the thing. Being a woman, I only really have access to the, uh... equipment, what, thirty, forty-five minutes a week. And that's on a good week. How can I be expected to have the same expertise as people who *own* this equipment, and have access to it twenty-four hours a day, their entire lives.
Jerry: You can't. That's why they lose very few players.
Elaine: Yeah, I guess I never really stood a chance.

Nipples. I'm still giggling like a girl (with nipples).

Do girls without nipples not giggle?

My dad does some serious work on his farm and his frontier. It must be serious - he gets agitated when crops don't come in on time.

No, I was hoping to see his katana as well.

I am confused about why the owners of TheDirt.com did not respond to the lawsuit. Wouldn't it have been a trivial matter to dismiss the suit, since it was filed against the wrong site?

Next up: Driver's Eduction on the Model T. ;)

My orthodontist played football in HS and college. He always advised kids not to play it: knee damage, concussions, damage to teeth and jaw - mouth guards only give you so much protection

You would think an orthodontist would encourage kids to play football. ;)

Yeah and injuries pulling a muscle pretending your hurt and in agony every time you fall.

That is hilarious. I wish I had mod points.

I've heard that Einstein was pretty good at recognizing zone blitzes.

Can you do masturbation wrong?

Perhaps if you mistake super glue for lubricant.

I can type fast as well. It helps that I have been typing essentially every day for the past 15 years. I think it also helped that I had a really fun typing class in 9th grade. Everything was a game. You got a high score by typing fast and avoiding mistakes.

I only use nine. My left thumb doesn't do anything.