Oral sex is good - Song of Solomon is all for that
That's certainly one way of looking at a poem about love between a man and a wife, but it certainly isn't the only way of looking at it (and I'd argue, not the best). We can see allusions to pretty much anything we want in some types of poetry, but that doesn't mean we ought to--the passage in question that usually is tied to this is:
Is some kind of sexual/romantic setting in view? Almost certainly, but any particular variety of sex shouldn't be directly drawn from the passage.
10 virgin wives? Sure it's a parable, parables are based on things people understand so again.. 10 virgin wives? - Gospel of Matthew
The passage in Matthew 25 to which you refer is looking at the bride's attendants and specifically at the fourth stage of a traditional Ancient Near East wedding, equivalent to an extended modern reception/final consecration of the marriage like the wedding feasts that go on for days in Asia now. Some Western weddings have a large number of bride's maids even today. In case you are wondering about the second part, where some don't get to join in, would you want half your wedding party to come to the reception if it was a time where leaving a young unmarried woman alone or with a small number of attendants could cause her to be assaulted by those outside the community?
As for the importance of our respective footballs, is the championship game of your football season essentially a national holiday?
Essentially, yes. It is an event that even if you are uninterested in the event itself, you often find yourself at a watching party (many go just to watch the advertisements during breaks). In some areas, local churches either close for the afternoon/evening or arrange for public viewing licenses to serve the community. Restaurants that might not normally be considered sports bars suddenly have televisions and local electronics stores tend to make adjustments to their returns policies for large tv sets at this time of year. The winning team usually gets a parade in its own city (a more official holiday).
Real Programmers don't write in PL/I. PL/I is for programmers who can't decide whether to write in COBOL or FORTRAN.