Journal cyranoVR's Journal: Odds and Ends 56
Consciousness
I came to the realization recently that I live inside my own head more than in the physical world. That I spend so much time in front of a computer screen probably doesn't help matters.
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Angel Finale *no spoilers*
I've heard many anecdotes of clenched fists or tears of grief as the credits rolled for the final time, but I was was not one of them. No, I found myself with a broad, uncontrollable smile across my face as I heard Angel's closing line and Joss Whedon's name flashed, dramatically, onto the screen.
With its final episode, Angel managed to do what few works of television can: transcend the very medium of the small screen - the rote devices of character, plot and dialogue - and enter the realm of pure metaphor. Joss said that the final episodes would reflect his frustration with the series' cancellation. Well, his aim was most definitely accomplished - but with the subtley of a master artist. In a manner that is very difficult to articulate, idea superceded the surface.
Those who were dissatisfied with the ending - who think the series needs a complete resolution - were probably the same ones who, back in high school, annoyed us by arguing that The Catcher in the Rye needed a sequel. They don't get it, and they probably never will.
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Golf
On Saturday we hit a couple buckets out at Spring Rock Golf Center in New Hyde Park. For the first time, I drove far, far more good shots than bad. Typically, I push the ball hard to the right, but I finally figured out how to control my backswing and smooth out my rotations. Most of my drives went long and straight - often 235+ yards.
After golf, we ate at the adjoining sushi restaurant, which offers a great deal - Sashimi combo for $14.
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Chess
I'm starting to get intersted in chess again, mainly because I got ChessGenius for my new Tungsten E. I stopped studying chess years ago when I realized that the only way to be really good was to memorize hundreds of common opening lines. ChessGenius is fast, but it seems to be pre-programmed with said opening lines of play, making it incredibly tough. Losing game after game is really getting frustrating.
Fortunately, I didn't donate my old collection of chess books when we moved. Meanwhile, I have Java books that go unread. But I need a extended break from that anyway, I guess.
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Robert Ebert Reviews "Fahrenheit 9/11"
Prediction: pretty soon we'll "discover" that Ebert was a Commie sympathizer back in the 60's:
...Moore's narration is still often sarcastic, but frequently he lets his footage speak for itself. The film shows American soldiers not in a prison but in the field, hooding an Iraqi, calling him Ali Baba, touching his genitals and posing for photos with him. There are other scenes of U.S. casualties without arms or legs, questioning the purpose of the Iraqi invasion at a time when Bush proposed to cut military salaries and benefits. It shows Lila Lipscomb, a mother from Flint, Mich., reading a letter from her son, who urged his family to help defeat Bush, days before he was killed. And in a return to the old Moore confrontational style, it shows him joined by a Marine recruiter as he encourages congressmen to have their sons enlist in the services.
Despite these dramatic moments, the most memorable footage for me involved President Bush on Sept. 11. The official story is that Bush was meeting with a group of pre-schoolers when he was informed of the attack on the World Trade Center and quickly left the room. Not quite right, says Moore. Bush learned of the first attack before entering the school, "decided to go ahead with his photo op," and began to read My Pet Goat to the students. Informed of the second attack, he incredibly remained with the students for another seven minutes, reading from the book, until a staff member suggested that he leave. The look on his face as he reads the book, knowing what he knows, is disquieting.
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Fencing
A brief word about fencing: tonight's practice sucked. I still have nagging achillies tendonitis, making my footwork sloppy and unbalanced. One of my primary weapons is balanced wrong, and the blade keeps bending the wrong way. A contact lens was scratching the fuck out of my left eye (it still hurts). Because of all these factors, motivation was really low. I just wanted to leave - so I did. Tonight was not my night to practice.
MrsVR keeps commenting that none of it matters because we will be having kids "soon," thus putting an end to our competitions. Well, fuck what if I want to take lessons for self improvement? Pretty soon I will be dead, and it will be very sad if I lie on my deathbed with a mountain of regret. I should live life as I want to live it right now, or something.
Well, the short answer is that the attitude just-stated is "selfish." Based on my results, I have no chance of ever making an Olympic Team, so there is no justification for the time I put into the sport. I should be off making my millions, not indulging a juvenille hobby.
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A Bumper Sticker
The other day I noticed a bumber sticker that read
IF IT'S NOT FUN, WHY ARE YOU DOING IT?
There is an obvious answer to this question. Life is not about fun. Life is about work and seriousness. Fun is for children. Growing up means pushing "fun" things to the side and focusing on what is important.
Interesting sidenote: the driver and passenger of the car were a lesbian couple.
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My Annual Review
I had my annual review several weeks ago. I met with the President of the Bank in his Office. Also present was the HR Director.
He told me that my self-review was extremely accurate and honest, something that doesn't happen too often. He said that I have a terrific reputation at the Bank, and everyone knows it. He hears good things about me from everyone.
He said that when he asks me to do something, he has complete confidence that I will do it well. And not just as a professional, but as a Human Being.
He said that I am too well-educated for my position and that I am under-utilized. He said that he wants me to start working with more deparments, to start improving things and offering new ideas. He said that he knows that I have my own way of doing things that is balanced and thoughtful, and that he doesn't expect me to offer dramatic change overnight. He wants me to take my time.
He said "thank you."
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On Getting a Taste of One's Own Medicine
The other day I stumbled across this transcript of Oliver North being interviewed (well, hammered, actually) on some Air America(?) talk show. Unsuprisingly, the interview ended abruptly when he stormed out - the sticking point being he wouldn't admit that he had ever been convicted of a crime in Court.
What's amusing is the manner in which he attempted to defend himself. "I've been shot at," "I've sworn allegiance to the Constitution XX times," "those Liberals are everywhere, they're reading my thoughts," etc. What a bizarre, paranoid world he lives in.
Similarly, Bill O'Reilly caved during a recent NPR interview. Of course, he came into the studio with a chip on his shoulder, as Al Franken had gotten a "free pass" a week earlier. Gee, Bill, that never, EVER happens on your show! If only the host had sneered her questions at him and contorted her face in disbelief during his replies. He would have felt at home! But it was not to be...
Right before O'Reilly childishly stomped out of the interview, he was badgering the host for not "being tough on Al Franken." That would have been a great opportunity for her to say something like "well, I think we should let our listeners check out the Franken interview and - as always - decide for themselves." ZING! Of course, asinine one-liners aren't exactly standard operating procedure at NPR,
North and O'Reilly should try going on WBAI. Now that would be a "hoot."
* * *
Where is the Outrage Now?
Note to self: don't convert to Islam and have fingerprints.
Second note to self: This US PATRIOT thing is just swell...if you don't hit the reverse lottery and have it fuck up your life. But have no fear! As long as you're innocent you have nothing to worry about...RIGHT???
Why does John Ashcroft hate America?
I'M SMARTER THAN YOU AND YOU KNOW IT.
Improvement on bumper sticker (Score:2)
-Sheryl Crow
In defence of the sticker, though, it doesn't say "If it's not fun, don't do it" -- it just asks the question. I think just about everyone has at least one thing they do where the answer would be "Hmm. I don't know."
Re:Improvement on bumper sticker (Score:2)
Hrm, I disagree (Score:1)
Because having fun is DECIDEDLY not just for kids, it's for everyone. How much better would the world be if people had the chance to explore and find the work that made them whole, rather than hating their job and being bored with life all the goddamn time?
I'm 25, soon to be married, and I play 3 hours of video games on average a night. I work my eight hours, which are important (at least to my company) bu
Re:Hrm, I disagree (Score:2)
Boy, are you about to find out the hard way.
Women have a way of hiding their disapproval because they don't want to hurt your feelings...but they lashing out at your most vunerable moment.
I'm saying that your inner child being well-fed = happier you
No offense, but that "inner child" stuff is a bunch of self-help new age hooey.
Growing up means killing your inner child.
Re:Hrm, I disagree (Score:1)
women can learn to communicate openly. my wife appreciates the "fun" side of me. the key is learning that it's ok to be childlike in some ways, but that it's usually not good to be childish. they're no
Re:Hrm, I disagree (Score:2)
Yes I am bitter - however, there are stupid people out there.
Re:Hrm, I disagree (Score:1)
i don't agree with you all the time. i don't really think that matters. i don't know what the words of some internet moron mean to you, but i thought i'
Re:Hrm, I disagree (Score:2)
I actually can't stand any extreme political opinion (i.e. I can only listen to Pacifica radio for a few minutes before turning it off in disgust).
Snappy zingers against "Right-wing" viewpoints come to me more naturally only because I grew up in a left-leaning household.
For same reason, those thoughts represent what is usually buzzing in my mind, which is why I put it in this journal - as a kind of therapy, if you will.
Re:Hrm, I disagree (Score:2)
Being a bit hard on yourself eh
Whoops - pot / kettle / black
Re:Hrm, I disagree (Score:1)
And let me tell you this--if she lashes out at me, she's gone. Period. I do NOT fuck around with interpersonal relationships, and it is NOT healthy for me to be engaged/married to someone who is lying to me about what she approves and disapproves of.
But personally, I prefer t
Re:Hrm, I disagree (Score:2)
A just question indeed! See the answer below.
If I were MrsVR, I'd be seriously insulted at this point.
Well, hopefully we'll get to see what she actually thinks very soon. Sidenote: I don't write about anything on this journal that I haven't already discussed with the Mrs. at length.
Also, a bit of advice: marriage
Re:Hrm, I disagree (Score:1)
Zzzz. Success = I'm happy with my life. No other definition is relevant. Money isn't relevant except as it relates to MY standards (low. I'm perfectly happy on the ~$45k my fiancee and I combine to make in our particular lower-salary, lower-cost-of-living neck of the woods).
So basically, first of all, don't rant about people who have a bumper sticker that espouses a practice you yourself follow.
As for marriages. My parents have a idyllic marriage. My mom's parents had an idyllic mar
Re:Hrm, I disagree (Score:2)
Which is to say, an inner child is great, but innocence has to be paid for, so it's a good thing that we are also abole to be all of our other years. Someone told me once that we look in the mirror and see ourselves at a certain age- plus all of the other ages we've ever been, as well, not instead of. That was my mum, and she knew what she was talking about.
And there's another piece to this puzzle. I don't work to work. i work because work is fun
Re:Hrm, I disagree (Score:2)
Also: what the hell is it with you people and tickle-fights?
"That's a form of abuse!" - Abe "Grandpa" Simpson
Re:Hrm, I disagree (Score:2)
Re:Hrm, I disagree (Score:2)
Re:Hrm, I disagree (Score:1)
Tickle Fight Update (Score:2)
Of course, we haven't had a ticklefight/CVR-torture session in years because - as I have been trying to point out to Zeriel - people grow older, personalities evolve and relationships change. It's just a fact
Re:Hrm, I disagree (Score:2)
My opinion is that is that is the Loser's attitude. No appologies offered.
It is rather sad when one lowers their goals to fit their situation, rather than attempting to change their situation to fit their goals.
So basically, first of all, don't rant about people who have a bumper sticker that espouses a practice you yourself follow.
Read the last bullet point in my "Action Items" list.
Also - if I had a nickel for every time I read a post by some Slashdoter abou
Re:Hrm, I disagree (Score:1)
It is rather sad when one lowers their goals to fit their situation, rather than attempting to change their situation to fit their goals.
That may be true from your perspective, and I'd tend to agree from mine, but you jumped the gun. He didn't say he was lowering his goals to be happy. His goal of being happy with his life could have requirements that are sky high for all you know. On top of that, he didn't actually say he was happy. Perhaps he won't be happy until he's built his own self contained envir
Re:Hrm, I disagree (Score:1)
That doesn't mean I maintain low standards in ANY other area, though. Case in point, when my CDs from the last acapella concert my group did come in, I'll link the mp3s here, and you can judge my artistic endeavors, anyway.
Re:Hrm, I disagree (Score:1)
It is rather sad when one lowers their goals to fit their situation, rather than attempting to change their situation to fit their goals.
Hrm. t_m_p said it best--without knowing what it is that makes me happy, how do you know my goals are so low? At least two of my on-going projects do NOT have low standards (both, being programming projects, strive for absolute literal perfection in the long run) and one of them has already indu
Re:Hrm, I disagree (Score:2)
I think my original point was - she's not planning to do so either.
It's a story as old as Adam and Eve.
Re:Hrm, I disagree (Score:1)
Re:Hrm, I disagree (Score:2)
I am being completely sincere when I say:
good luck using that one as your comeback
Re:Hrm, I disagree (Score:1)
1) Those willing to apologise sincerely afterward, and not do it frequently.
2) Those who are paying me my salary. And even then, my boss doesn't flip out nearly as often as he would have to in order to drop my job satisfaction.
People who lash out with little-to-no reason or warning and don't apologise don't stay in my circle of friends. Funny, but I've only dismissed one friend out of about three dozen goo
Re:Hrm, I disagree (Score:2)
I don't much care for the phrase "inner child" either - it's a so-so metaphor on a good day - but you never entirely leave your childhood or teenage years behind.
Having kids is hard, sometimes very hard, often dull, and will sap most of your free time - kind of like training for the Olympics, or some such. Having kids will also make you very uncool and sentimental. However, it is fun. Really. Most of us can't replace it with anything else, which is why we keep doing it even though the economic argume
Re:Hrm, I disagree (Score:2)
Once, just once, I wish a parent would come out and write that "raising kids is a pain in the ass, and - in the end - not very rewarding."
** The other thing was tickle-fights, in case you missed it.
Re:Hrm, I disagree (Score:2)
But that would only be a half truth. Raising kids is is a big-time pain in the ass, and you would be hard pressed to find a parent who would claim otherwise.
You'd be even harder pressed to find any who, if they could do it all over again, would choose to remain childless.
I think you're being too simplistic (Score:1)
Life and marriage are not easy, either separately or in combination. Life has a way of becoming more and more complicated and time consuming, especially as we grow older and our obligations increase. I haven't cooked or
Re:I think you're being too simplistic (Score:2)
Yes...
Re:I think you're being too simplistic (Score:1)
Hrm. As for life getting more and more complicated, well, one of my goals in life is to keep the complications at a managable level for me. I do NOT lightly let outside "obligations" interfere with cooking dinner for my fiancee nearly every night, for example.
I think a lot of the problem is that we've got two radically different perspectives on life here. In my personal ethics, if I'm not getting paid overtime, my boss g
Re:I think you're being too simplistic (Score:1)
People change. It's inevitable. That doesn't mean someone is a liar when they change. And whatever forms your obligations take, be they dinner parties or children's homework and baths, time becomes an issue as you grow older. Your fiancée may b
Re:I think you're being too simplistic (Score:1)
Secondly...I'm neither unfair enough nor dense enough to allow my fiancee to do more of the work of the household than I do. Hell, currently, I do the bulk of it in addition to my games, mostly due to her having a job (receptionist, pays student loans) and a career (she's working on her novel).
Finall
Final Thoughts (Score:2)
Last Word from the Opposition (Score:1)
Damn, it's nice to have a drawn-out discussion with someone who isn't a whiny bitch or a troll on this site for once.
And leaving the dishes unwashed is not the answer (Score:1)
Ok ok (Score:2)
Re: (Score:2)
Re:yawn (Score:2)
Ummmmm has it occured to you that at least one of them already has [chron.com]?
More of the same [villagevoice.com].
Let us remember: it is possible to both Love America and Oppose those who would Tarnish its Name.
Anticipated Response:
Blah blah those are just self-hating commies yak yak "love it or leave it" etc. etc. how pathetic that they hate themselves fap fap America is great because we bombed t
Re: (Score:2)
Re:yawn (Score:2)
I hope they lose their freedom and are still alive to regret their foolish choice.
I'll be already dead of course because I actually believe in fighting against enemies.
The irony could not possibly be more bitter...
Believe in fighting against enemies? As do I. That's why I wonder why we split our military off from Afghanistan and invaded Iraq, leaving a weakened force to try and keep two fires under control, only one of which actually involved fighting the people who attacked us.
That's why I believe
Re: (Score:2)
Re:yawn (Score:2)
No, here's the difference between us:
I realize that the government that sent the troops AREN'T the troops.
My uncle was in vietnam. My grandmother, his mother, related a story to me many, many years ago.
During the height of protests against 'nam, troops were coming and going as they always did. However, sometimes, they were being greeted by unexpected visitors at the docks and airports: protestors.
These people had decided to show up and wave signs, chant, whatever, but they were targetting troops who wer
Re: (Score:2)
Re:yawn (Score:2)
Aha - the root of the problem, as it were.
I was screaming bloody murder not to go into Iraq 18 months ago (I had and have no qualms over the handling of Afghanistan at all, other than the lack of focus on it) while those ignorant plebes in the public were goosestepping behind the government in a nationalistic fervor. In those 18 months, I've not changed my tune once, and I'm not going to now.
That said, I'm equally non-reticent to terror groups and plain old psychopaths. As a result, I feel that it's of t
Re: (Score:2)
Re:yawn (Score:2)
I've bookmarked your comment under my "Nominations - Ironic Statement of the Year, 2004" folder.
[Yes, I understand that that you were implying that these "peaceniks" want Al Queda to invade our country, resulting in their own enslavement while providing you with the opportunity to die heroically - surrounded by the heaped bodies of vanquished Taliban shock troopers]
Re: (Score:2)
Re:yawn (Score:2)
I'mah gonna need an Executive Summary (tm) on that one - you think I have time to read *other* people's flamewars???
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Re:yawn (Score:2)
HITLER
Why are you advocating the same debate tactics used by Hitler? What's wrong with you?!
Re:yawn (Score:1)
Heh... either you just indirectly compared me to Hitler... or I missed something....
Whichever, I'm part of Generation X and I don't have the attention span required to think about it.
Al vs Bill's interview (Score:2)
Re:Al vs Bill's interview (Score:2)
Furthermore, O'Reilly "laughs along" with his extreme right wing guests all the time, but when a lefty comes along, he goes into "attack m
Re:Al vs Bill's interview (Score:2)
My opinion of Terry isn't changed any t