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Journal cyranoVR's Journal: Scenes from my life 32

Journal by cyranoVR

It's 1984 and I'm in Second Grade. Some Fifth graders come to our class on a pretend "campaign stop." One group represents the Democrats and Mondale, the others the Republicans and Reagan.

The Democrats pitch that Mondale wants to raise taxes to rebuild highways. I don't remember what the Republican group says about Reagan.

One of my classmates has a big smile on his face. He's smiling because he took one of the Mondale "buttons" (made out of construction paper) and personalized it.

Under Mondale's name he wrote:

"is a fart."

* * *

My family has just moved to Texas and it's my first day of 7th grade. I don't know anybody, so I try making friends with some other boys outside homeroom.

Immediately, they have two questions for me. Their questions are 1) what was my SAT score? and 2) am I a Republican or one of those pussy Democrats?

My answers are 1) What's the SAT? and 2) I was thinking of supporting the Whig party, actually.

They reply what the fuck is the Whig party.

* * *

It's 8th grade and it's "Culture Day" in the library. I'm looking at the "Fashion of the Future" exhibit. Two football players standing nearby are laughing.

"Yum Keeper - what the fuck is that"

"Rush Ah-shana? What's up with these dumb fucking names - haw!"

I'm trembling with rage. I turn confront them, my voice waivering: "you can make fun of me, but you can't fucking make fun of my religion."

* * *

It's 10th grade and I'm sitting in Spanish class. One of the "jocks" from the library incident sits down next to me. During the class, while the teacher is distracted, he starts whispering softly. Yeah, you've got a fine ass...sexy lips...yeah, I'd like to fuck you...that's right, later you're going to be all mine...just you and me.

I am terrified.

* * *

It's two years later and I'm walking out of the library after thumbing through a book on FORTRAN and ultimately checking out a copy of Franny and Zooey/Raise High the Roofbeam, Carpenters.

I notice something scribbled on a wall nearby. It reads

You dont know anything because your a fucking atheist

* * *

I'm a junior in college and I'm just getting back from a particularly trying NCAA fencing meet. It was an away trip and we spent 6 hours on the bus each way.

As I stumble into my dorm room, I notice that I have two voicemail messages. Both of them are from a computer-generated voice:

I AM goING to FUCKing make YOU my biTCH.

I will BEND you ovER and rape you LIKE a whore.

I delete the messages and collapse into bed asleep.

* * *

It's earlier this year and some imaginary friends are holding a blanket party in my honor.

* * *

It's two weeks ago, and I'm walking on West 24th Street towards the N/R subway.

I notice a firetruck, then a group of firemen standing around a taxi. The taxi's engine had been on fire, and one of the firemen is extinguishing the last flames as the rest watch.

It smells like September 11th.

* * *

It's later that night, and MrsVR and I are fighting again. She is on the verge of tears, pleading with me to say how I really feel about my family, asking me if we're doing the Right Thing. I say I am unsure and she acridly accuses me of not being true to myself.

I reply that I don't know how I feel. My feelings are complex and sometimes I don't understand them myself. That humans aren't like computers - we don't have complete control over what goes on inside our heads. There's no kernel to re-compile. I want to cd /proc/emotions and ls -la and then fuser -k [procid], but humans don't work like that.

They just don't.

* * *

It's this morning and I'm watching CSPAN and David Limbaugh is being interviewed and he's getting whooped up talking about Christians being persecuted and how The Passion succeded even though the media elite tried everything in their power to stop it and sure, Christians are persecuted but God doesn't want them to just roll over and take it.

* * *

It's 4 hours ago and I've decided to sit down and watch The Pianist so I can remind myself what real persecution looks like.

* * *

Have you heard.

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Scenes from my life

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  • This journal entry brought to you by the word "fuck."
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              jason
              http://w
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  • "Yum Keeper - what the fuck is that"

    "Rush Ah-shana? What's up with these dumb fucking names - haw!"

    Actually, the dumb jocks have a point.

    Why aren't there Anglicized names for the Holy Days, when there are Anglicized names for so many other bits of Jewish culture?

    AFAIK, it's not that there are anglicized names and they're not used (like how Orthodox still pronounce everything with a hebrew accent), it's that they just don't exist.

    Odd. And, on about the same importance--how do you spell "Yom Kippur" in
    • Rosh Hashanah - Everyone at the office was wishing me "Happy New Year."

      And perhaps you've heard of "Pass Over?"

      I think I'll walk over to St. Patrick's Cathedral tomorrow and ask a priest why they still conduct mass in Latin.

      • WTF? I thought they started doing masses in English about 30 years ago??

        I can't believe with all of the comics and graphic novels I've read, I've never picked up a copy of Maus. Maybe I'll remember to ask the local shop to look for a copy. (If it's still in print, it will be no problem).

        • WTF? I thought they started doing masses in English about 30 years ago??

          Before the Second Vatican Council, only the Latin Mass was allowed; after the reforms from Vatican II, vernacular Masses were permitted. However, frequently Catholic Masses include singing in Latin -- taize songs or chants.

          To answer the grandparent post: so why does the USA use such old-fashioned phrases like "E Pluribus Unum" or "Semper Fidelis"? Well gee, let's just get rid of that too, shall we? And while we're at it, we should p

          • Before the Second Vatican Council, only the Latin Mass was allowed; after the reforms from Vatican II, vernacular Masses were permitted. However, frequently Catholic Masses include singing in Latin -- taize songs or chants.

            Incidentally, I grew up going to a Reform synagogue. None of the services were conducted in Hebrew, even the prayers - it was all in English. I never learned more than a few words of Hebrew.
            Just enough for the Sabbath prayers.

            Funny thing is - the Jews that came to this country did the [faqs.org]
            • Incidentally, I grew up going to a Reform synagogue. None of the services were conducted in Hebrew, even the prayers - it was all in English. I never learned more than a few words of Hebrew. Just enough for the Sabbath prayers.

              FWIW my high school -- which was actually a secular K-12 private school -- had a relatively large proportion of Reform Jews (the rest of the students being mostly Episcopalian or agnostic, with a pair of Satanists to make things...interesting). I was always impressed with how they w

              • Personally I always wonder why we can't celebrate differences and share them, rather than expecting people to act the same, talk the same, dress the same, etc. etc. etc.

                Simple, you shouldn't need to know 3 languages to be able to order a burger or tell a cabbie where to take you. Only the language of the land(whatever that may be). Nor should anyone get special treatment because of their culture(neither should they get discriminated against). The onus is on the immigrant to adapt to the laws and regula
                • Simple, you shouldn't need to know 3 languages to be able to order a burger or tell a cabbie where to take you.

                  Agreed, but don't you agree as well that Jewish citizens should still be allowed to hold services in Hebrew and that everyone should be allowed pronounce Hebrew/Yiddish words with the correct accent? The original poster (who has yet to return and defend his "odd" assertion) was implying that Jewish citizens should cast off all remnants of their mother culture and/or religion, no matter how trivia
                  • Another thought: People were speaking Spanish in Texas and California long before English was the dominant language. People who grow up speaking a foreign langage in America are not always immigrants.

                    And by definition, the language isn't "foreign."

                    I should have written "non-English."
                  • Yes, I do agree with you, but I don't think that you should be able to take a driver's liscense test in Hebrew, or be able to raise a fuss because a business won't hire you because you ONLY speak Hebrew.

                    And they were speaking an entirely different language before Spain went off and conquered South America with the help of smallpox and rifles.

                    People here were speaking a wide variety of languages before the English landed. Times changed.
    • AFAIK, it's not that there are anglicized names and they're not used (like how Orthodox still pronounce everything with a hebrew accent), it's that they just don't exist.

      Yom Kippur - I guess "Day of Attonement" just doesn't have that ring to it.

      Ditto for "Festival of Lights" instead of Hanukkah.

      Re: Orthodox pronouncing words with an accent. If that's how the word is supposed to be pronounced, then that's how it's pronounced. By the same measure, doesn't it sound stupid when somebody says a Spanish word
      • ...using the Katakana characters "yo" "n/m" (the character in the middle and end of "Shimbun"), "ki" "half-tzu" "pu" "ru", but that's just me. Actually, given what I've heard about Japan and anti-Semitism, I might try not to spell it unless I had to, but again...

        I'm not sure there's a point here, either, except maybe to bring up a worse problem than straight Anglicization: There are a lot of sounds that occur in both English and Hebrew that don't occur in Japanese, for instance. Nevertheless, it was an
        • If I might be permitted to add my own scene: I'm in high school, and someone comes up to me and puts their arm around me very friendly-like, and says in a sweet, concerned voice: "You know, S-, I really worry about you, because you're not saved and you won't go to Heaven when you die."

          Yeah, I had a similar experience in my high school Creative Writing class. Except they weren't friends and rather than being concerned they were taunting me - "ha-ha you're going to Hell, but we're not because Jesus loves u
    • Why aren't there Anglicized names for the Holy Days, when there are Anglicized names for so many other bits of Jewish culture?

      I dunno. Maybe for the same reason we say "Jesus Christ" instead of "Jesus The Anointed"...or why we say "Pentecost" instead of "Fiftieth Day". Or "Epiphany" and not "Three Kings Day". But damn, don't those words sound funny, haw haw -- let's get rid of 'em!

      Cheers,

      Ethelred

  • ~ Christians are persecuted but God doesn't want them to just roll over and take it.

    * * *

    It's 4 hours ago and I've decided to watch The Pianist so I can remind myself what real persecution looks like.

    I love the Pianist in that I can't possibly imagine any human going through that and 1) surviving, let alone 2) not being seriously f----d in the head aftwards. Yet, here is the story of a man who did. I hope we're not put in a similar situation this life, that's for sure.

    • Have you read Maus? Spiegelman's writes that when he was a kid, his father was always wailing at night. He grew up thinking that's what adults do when they sleep.

      ** SPOILER **

      I was sorta disappointed by The Pianist because the trailers implied that he was going to be a underground resistance fighter, but instead they just following him from hidey hole to hidey hole. Here's hoping he comes back and kicks Hitler's ass in The Pianist II.

      On a more serious note, the same thing that happened to Speilman in

      • I agree with Safety Cap on The Pianist. The spoiler you found disappointing struck me as incredibly true and sadly human. And it was strange how the entire audience seemed to struggle to maintain the film's quiet through many of those scenes. I found it powerful.

        It smells like September 11th.
        I was not in NYC during the disaster, but when I read your line, I shuddered thinking of how lower Manhattan had _still_ smelled in October.

        P.S. If you ever *do* find a straight forward way to reprogram deeply i
        • I agree with Safety Cap on The Pianist. The spoiler you found disappointing struck me as incredibly true and sadly human.

          Still, I would like to see a Hollywood action movie about the ZOB resisting the Nazis in Warsaw [ushmm.org]. Now *that* would helluva reel.

          ** SPOILER **
          Also, it occured to me that hero of The Pianist was part of the resistance - he used his social stature to get a job where he could help smuggle in firearms and bombs.
  • As someone who shared 7th grade with you, I sincerely doubt we were talking about the SAT at that age. 3 years later, I grant you that would have come up a lot after we had taken the practice PSAT. But 7th grade, come on. On the other hand, one of worst things I've seen as a young student was the way that I and everyone else treated you and your brother. It was juvenile and hurtful. Among the 5 most important lessons I've learned in my life is that your emotions are your own. You can't wish or will th
    • As someone who shared 7th grade with you, I sincerely doubt we were talking about the SAT at that age. 3 years later, I grant you that would have come up a lot after we had taken the practice PSAT.

      No, I'm pretty sure they were talking about the SAT. I remember because the scores they got were in the low 600's and these were over-achiever types (ZR being one of them).

      Anyway, don't feel too bad for me. In retrospect, I got off pretty easy.

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