I think these are very important topics -- raising good, capable, happy people, being good to kids. These topics used to be vitally important to me as a student in "good," but mainstream public schools. I checked out the alternatives as best I could, especially for college. I found that the "structureless" alternatives, like Goddard College, spent a lot of time focusing on what structures, if any, to have. At a certain point, I wanted to spend my schooling focusing on something other than schooling itself. The Big 10 model -- thousands of people taking a class, even over video camera -- from one authority seemed somewhat criminal to me.
I settled on a middle ground, the Great Books model, in my case the Hutchins School at Sonoma State University. The seminar is the heart of it: dialogue, discussion, shared enquiry, shared not-knowing. There are classes, teachers and students have different roles, there are reading assignments, but those are to a large extent scaffolds to make seminaring possible. Good stuff. 16 years out and no regret here in my choice.
Slashdot actually has always reminded me a lot of a good Great Books seminar.
Like a lot of arguments, I think the most effective options draw creatively from the domains of both extremes versus getting stuck at one extreme -- authoritarian structure versus structurelessness.
After any salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you did before.