I believe (Score 1)

I believe that it isn't absolutely being in IT that takes the situation and bombards it to and beyond the brink of divorce. Primarily, you do have control of your job, if you believe that your job is causing problems with your marriage, then first (yes, this is the biggest and toughest position for any man) talk to your wife/husband, and decide what can be done to make it better. if that means that you must find a different area to work in, then yes, time to move away from the ALL POWERFUL IT position to something less demanding. I have heard of different IT managers complain that their wives have no understanding of them when they come home after a long and hard day. I usually tell them, "Well, do you have understanding for them when you come home from a long and hard day?" What I mean is, if your coming home from one of those DISASTER FROM ABOVE BELOW AND BESIDE days, then realize your going to be cranky... your not going to be a nice person to be around. Go to the gym before you go home, do something that will take your mind off of the problems at work. Also realize that if you have kids, she has had to deal with them while you dealt with your end-users primates. While us IT's can sometimes escape into the corners of the computer closets to "check the cabling" your spouse doesn't have that option.

If the problems are because of time constraints (for instance I am a 24/7 hour on call tech) then yes, this is a major problem and you need to (again) talk to your spouse about the situation, and make sure that you are both on the same website/page (had to throw something techy in). If s/he doesn't think that your paying enough attention to them, well guess what... "it ain't gettin' any betta." this would be the time to actually look into another career. Perhaps a career as a IT sales guy (I don't know for certain, but I have been told that they make as much as most IT Managers).

I think the hardest part of the whole thing is to make sure that your paying attention to your spouses needs, make sure that s/he is aware that you're willing to do what it takes to keep things happy between each other. That s/he understands that if there is something that is upsetting him/her that you're willing to actually listen (and not bite their heads off and not try and make excuses or pass the blame) and you're willing to attempt what needs to be done to make your spouse un-upset and allow Happiness to Abound!

This is my statement...

"You have the ultimate control over your relationships, it is YOUR responsibility to manage your time, your emotions, your attitude, your mood and your family. This responsibility of your family requires a direct link between you and your wife/husband. Without agreement, in any field you work in be it IT or anything else, it WILL end in divorce!"

--- Thats my statement, and I am sticking to it.

Seeing as how this is WAAAAYYYYY down on the list, I doubt anybody will actually read this, so oh well, wisdom to the ether of the internet.