Yes consolekit is the bit to work on when dealing with multi-seat systems. Udev and consolekit very recently were changed to support seats a little better but there is more work needed in that area. Pulseaudio already integrates to consolekit, so using this system is the way to go.
In the mean time, if you have tow sounds cards (e.g. one for each of you) you can do a "poor mans" setup but each logging in once, and then being nice ot the other but loading pavucontrol and choosing the "Off" profile for the card not meant for you. This doesn't work if you swap seats tho', but for this kind of setup, I'm guessing that doesn't happen too often anyway. Like I say support in consolekit is coming.
NAS and ESD are both obsolete, so are no longer developed and should not be used.
PulseAudio does not have it's own SSH piggy back implementation like X11 but we do piggy back on to the X11 one. Really openssh needs to be refactored to make the X11 forwarding modular and we can then write a PulseAudio module for SSH so that it can all be done properly.
OSX support is also underway but it's done by those people who are interested and only two people are really interested right now, so the progress is a little slow, but getting there.
The routing policy you describe (when you see it, use it) is now implemented in PA git master with module-device-manager, although currently only a KDE gui for this is available (it's not the way Gnome want to work, but it is the way KDE want to work, so I accommodated that).
And the disto I do packaging for is certainly not backed by a wealthy individual. It just takes someone who actually cares to get the distro integration right, not money :)