Did I read you right that the only word of Japanese you knew was "dame"? If so, you should not be surprised that you can't get what you want from people if you can only speak *one word* of their language. How much success would someone speaking entirely in Japanese have at ordering in a restaurant in your country?
I had almost universal success getting items not listed on the menu, even in chains like Watami, where the menu is laminated and identical from Sapporo to Fukuoka. My first success was with a whole roast garlic, and it was well worth the effort.
But I digress. It's possible to infer from what you wrote that you think that Japanese people act like machines more than people of other cultures. I don't know whether you really think that or not. Whichever is the case, I felt the need to challenge that implication.
Mausoleum: The final and funniest folly of the rich. -- Ambrose Bierce