If you have hard technical skills alone, then there's nothing you can do that an offshore worker can't do cheaper. But if you can leverage some soft skills you're much better off. Especially in small businesses, the owners don't want an aloof wizard -- they want a techie who is accessible and helpful, and who doesn't nake their head hurt. In a big company, you're much more versatile if you can deal with non-techies (like, say, project managers). And if you have that knack of "natural leadership" -- you're SUPER useful because you can be a team lead and get more bang for the buck from other employees. Lacking anything else, if the hiring manager just likes you, that will often be more decisive than your skill set.
Considering that it's not unusual to spend more time with your coworkers than your spouse, this isn't too weird. So... get out and meet people! Try to get good at social interaction. Maybe do a little public (small group) speaking -- that does WONDERS for your confidence and resistance to social anxiety. Pick a friend with really strong presence and charisma, and watch how he/she works -- and how people react. There's a lot to be said (and that has been said) for who you know, but it's more important to manager how they know you. Just having lots of acquaintances is not really helpful, but if you have lots of folks who have you standing out in their mind, you're really networking. Plus, you can make some new friends.
It's not being fake, by the way, to find out how to be liked. If you don't compromise your values or misrepresent yourself, then you're not breaking any sacred trust to behave in an appropriate way. In other words, you might have a totally different demeanor at the comic shop, than you would at a professional discussion group. There's just different types of acceptable behavior at each -- so they way you use your charisma on an upper management type you meet at a book club would be different than how you'd approach a techie-manager you run into at the local computer game store.
