False equivalency. All the items you listed were blatantly obsolete when Apple removed them. Us old folks remember Microsoft shipping a box with 60 or 70 floppies to install Office from. Serial ports suck and aren't extendable. And so on.

There's no "replacement" for analog audio going into your ears. As this thread should make it abundantly clear, an external converter of some sort is absolutely required when there's no analog output from the iPhone.

You were ninja'd by Randall -- https://xkcd.com/1720/

But, remember...

You don't know how lucky you are boys, back in the USSR!

Certainly one of the sickest parts of the joke is "States' Rights." It's absolutely batshit crazy to have something be legal for your pal a mile away (next state over) which would throw you in jail in your state. Drug use, marriage age, sexual positions or partners are obvious examples. Or slavery, of course, if you go back a couple years.
The sad fact is that we're nowhere near being "One country," (under $DEITY or not). Only a heavily duck-taped illusion of a Federal gov't is keeping the US from becoming a dozen or so separate republics with radically different ideas about everything from gun ownership to religious rights.

My favorite way to explain the difference between something "happening" FTL and useful information not being able to travel FTL is this:

Imagine you've got a powerful laser aimed at a wall a few light-years away. You then sweep the laser beam along the wall's length. The illuminated area changes at several times the speed of light. But this is not information transfer, because each photon travelled a few years in a straigh(ish) line and hit the wall based on the angle of the laser at the time of emission. We "see" a moving spot, but what we're actually seeing is a progression of non-FTL arrivals. The photons carry information, but whatever knowledge is imparted at the point where the wall is illuminated is not transferred to any subsequently illuminated location.

You win the Whooshed Of The Month award for that one.

Turns out someone's been fixing blurred lines for a while now

That's utter nonsense. You might as well bitch that IndyCars aren't allowed in NASCAR races. Or that sticks with more than 1.5" curve depth aren't allowed in the NHL. Or that metal bats aren't allowed in MLB. Or double-strung rackets in tennis.

Every sport has rules and limits, often for safety if nothing else. If you don't think race teams have teams of engineers trying to make the car a teensy bit faster and a teensy bit better at holding speed in corners while staying within the design rules, time to think again.

Back to human doping: I won't disagree that there's a fine line between PEDs and legal stuff like high-protein diets and a few cans of RedBull. And for that matter, the kind of diet (both type and quantity) that NFL players eat does in fact have ramifications for their long-term health. I think the difference is (supposed to be) that banned doping substances are radically dangerous even in the levels in use, let alone overdosing.

Well, I guess now we know how Superman's X-ray vision works. I remember at least a couple occasions where he stops reading a book thru a wall (or some such) because, in his own explanation, continued use of his X-ray power could overheat the book and set it on fire.

Does make you wonder whether Empedocles and Plato were from Krypton.

That's exactly how it goes, and there's no other option. You could do nothing, and guess what the death rate wouldn't change. Or you could do something which directly addresses the root cause of the problem, and see if the death rate decreases. In all the cases I know of - checklists for pilots, drug dosage level changes, etc. -- by the time the new protocol is released for use on humans it's pretty much guaranteed not to make things worse.

Hey, size isn't everything (you insensitive clod)!

Yeah, well, radio: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HV3zWSawJiw

If you haven't seen the counterargument, here you go.

Other replies have already shown why this approach is guaranteed to fail.

I'll just drop in to suggest that perhaps a little more curriculum content and stricter grading standards might lead some students to reduce their partying so as to pass, and other students to drop out early on, since they really didn't belong in college in teh first place.

You may "use" tabs, but plenty of editors are set to translate the tab into N spaces.

Worse, plenty of editors import text documents and **change** the tabs to N spaces whether you wanted to or not.

Usually this results in a totally garbled python script.