Comment Is so (Score 1) 2044
Comment Re:This won't end well (Score 1) 206
"You can't reason someone out of a position they didn't reason themselves into."
Comment Hear hear! (Score 2, Informative) 762
Comment Costco Already Did It (Score 1) 11
Comment Re:We can't help it the world is retarded.. (Score 2, Informative) 829
Please provide proof. How are we holding them back? Who is we? Why have India and China succeeded the more they embrace evil capitalist ideals?
Comment Otherwise you'll end up like this guy: (Score 2, Funny) 1354
It was last Friday. I had just gotten up from a SWEET game of Warcraft on my PC.
Anyway, I realized I was dangerously low on Mountain Dew, so I threw on my lucky green sweat pants and my trenchcoat to walk 3 blocks to the convenience store. I figured if I had enough change, I might even pick up some Slim Jims, but I digress...
On my way back to my apartment, Dew and Slim Jims in hand, I saw you and your friends walking into the Jazz club across the street. You seemed so comfortable and cool dressed to the nines for an evening of drinks and dancing with those closest to you.
It was then that I knew I had to meet you. Although I had never been in that particular establishment, I followed you in. You probably would have seen me, but I was slowed by an argument with the doorman over my attire. After a few minutes, I think I had him convinced I looked ok, but then he proceeded to ask me for $10 just to walk into the bar. I couldn't believe they wanted to charge me just to get in. I, of course had no money, having spent every spare cent on caffeine and sticks of processed beef. I walked back to the convenience store and failed in my effort to return the goods I had so recently purchased. Luckily, the store had an ATM, so I pleaded with the checker to hold my purchases behind the counter for a short time, and I withdrew $20 from the cash machine. Armed with my fresh $20 bill, I marched to the Jazz Club, paid the $10 cover, and went looking for the woman of my dreams.
I saw you immediately, near the bar with your friends. You were at the end of the group with some space next to you, so I settled in close. You noticed me once or twice as I cleared my throat nervously trying to think of what to say. It sounded like you may have commented on my trenchcoat to one of your friends, but I couldn't be sure.
I finally bumped you to get your attention. I may have bumped to hard as I noticed you spilled some of your drink on your shirt. Sorry about that.
ME: So... Do you come here often?
YOU: No. (you turn back to your friends)
ME: Me neither. I hate bars. I can't come to terms with why anyone would want to pay such high margins on watered down drinks they could make at home for a fraction of the cost... (I trail off noticing you aren't listening)
I regroup and lean in close to your ear...
ME: What are you drinking there?
YOU: (barely looking over your should back to me) A gin and tonic.
ME: Can I buy you one?
YOU: I already have one, see... (you hold up your drink sarcastically)
ME: Well then, can I reimburse you for the one you are drinking?
YOU: What? (looking at me now)
ME: Let me pay you back for that one.
YOU: Whatever. (looking puzzled and annoyed)
ME: How much was it?
YOU: What?
ME: How much is a gin and tonic?
YOU: Five dollars
ME: Jesus Christ! What fool pays $5 for a freakin' drink? That's robbery!!!
YOU: Get away from me.
ME: (embarrassed by my outburst) No, no, no. I said I'd pay you for it, so I will. (reaching in my pocket) Do you have change for a $10?
You: What?
ME: I only have a ten dollar bill? Do you have five dollars change?
YOU: (turning to face me completely and folding your arms as your friends quiet down to watch our interaction) Actually, this drink was $6 with tip.
ME: What?
YOU: My drink. It was $5 plus $1 for tip!
ME: Damn, this is getting expensive. Ok, do you have $4 change for my $10.
YOU: No.
ME: Well, then I'll have to get change from the bartender.
YOU: Don't bother. Leave me alone. (you turn back to your friends as they erupt in laughter)
I spend 10 mintues trying to get the bartender's attention. I can't blame him much because he was very busy serving so many other morons begging to be robbed of their hard earned dollars. When he finally gets to me, he tells me he won't give me change, but I can buy a drink and will get change from that. I tell him I wouldn't dream of paying such inflated prices for frozen water and a few drops of our country's last legal poison... He goes on to the next patron.
Frustrated, I go to the bathroom to pee and think about my next move. I'm pretty sure if I can just pay you for that drink that we will soon be making hot monkey love back at my apartment. However, I am disappointed at how much dating is already costing me, and how many obstacles one must overcome to simply buy a girl a drink. I start to plan my speech to you about how I may have jumped into this relationship too quickly, and that maybe we should just be friends.
While washing my hands in the sink, I notice there's a bathroom attendant. He is smiling and waiting with fresh paper towels for me. Next to him is his tray of tips stacked with dollar bills. I drop my ten dollar bill on the tray, as the attendants smile widens. Then, I pick up a pile of ones and begin counting them. The bathroom attendant gets very hostile and grabs the cash from my hand. I wrestle with him over the wad of cash. One of the bouncers must have been just outside the bathroom. I was sure that he would understand my story, and we could get everything sorted out. Boy was I wrong. He didn't want to hear anything. He just grabbed me by my trench coat and ripped me out the bathroom door and toward the exit. I yelled "I LOVE YOU" to you as he dragged me past your group. You replied loudly for all to hear FUCK OFF CREEP!!!
I know we're meant for each other. Give me another chance.
Comment Re:Administration (Score 1) 753
Comment Re:Thank you (Score 1) 492
Comment Thank you (Score 1) 471
Comment Thank you (Score 1) 492
Comment Re:Your Reality Check Bounced (A little history). (Score 1) 873
Democrats have been running the show for 2 years now, yet all that this congress and Obama can do is lay blame on Bush and Republicans on this current mess. Democrats and their liberal policies are 100% to blame for this. Notice that when they blame Bush and company they're never specific, just vagaries about deregulation, free-market failing us, etc. Nothing but an assault and lie against capitalism. Look up Community Reinvestment Act when you get a chance if you're interested in the truth.
Comment Ummm (Score 0) 906
"would leave unresolved complex questions surrounding the closing of the Guantanamo prison, including whether, where and how many of the detainees are to be prosecuted. They could also allow Mr. Obama to reinstate the CIA's detention and interrogation operations in the future, by presidential order, as some have argued would be appropriate if Osama Bin Laden or another top-level leader of Al Qaeda were captured."
He's left himself a backdoor for warrantless wiretap searches(as this article/summary shows); for continued CIA interrogation techniques he's supposedly ending today; and for keeping Gitmo open, should we capture the right people.