- Walled gardens, vendor lock in
They are a company who manufactures proprietary products. I can't think of a single proprietary company who does not have an aspect of vendor lock-in. And I'm not even sure what element of Apple's offering would be considered lock-in (unless you're talking about the App Store).
- Taking down applications from the App Store and including versions in iOS
I think you'll find more-often-than-not that Apple takes features from jailbreak apps rather than those sold in the App Store. Fair game.
- Spurious litigation and anti-competitive lawsuits in Germany and Australia
I'll admit this is some pretty poor form. I do, though, think it's fairly obvious if you look at the smartphone industry before the iPhone vs after the iPhone you'll see how many other brands have copied Apple's look and feel. Not that look and feel should be patentable, but the entire industry was sitting on their hands selling mediocre products and then as soon as Apple releases their product they all rush to sell the same thing. Where's the innovation? Things like this are pathetic.
- CarrierIQ, GPS tracking privacy gaffes
At least iOS asked you if you wanted to opt-in for tracking (CarrierIQ). Other OS'es did not. I think you'll also find that Android had a similar 'bug' where a user's GPS location was tracked along with wifi data.
- Planned failure just after warranty period (ever since the original pod)
I own 7 Apple devices with all bar one (iPhone 4S) out of warranty. None of mine have failed, but I suppose YYMV (especially 11 years ago).
"But what we need to know is, do people want nasally-insertable computers?"