Father of 5 - My Advice for You (Score 1)

I qualify as an experienced father and as a geek: Father of 5 happy, successful, well adjusted kids ages 7 to 19. 20 years of marriage to the same wonderful sexy lady. As to my geek qualifications: I was an expert on Gopher, created the newsgroup sci.polymers (and wrote the FAQ), installed Mosaic on the company internet computer (without root priv's) and was surfing the web via an x-terminal in 1992 even though our IT department didn't know how to do it themselves. I was also a Vax System Manager (it doesn't get much geekier than that). 1. Hire a baby sitter you trust and pay them well as others have suggested. Best place to get them is by being a volunteer in your local church youth group - help them set up a cool web page or something - volunteer your house for a lan HALO party - you'll be so much cooler than their parents that they'll baby sit for free. 2. Audio monitors are great - especially to let you sit outside and visit with the neighbors while the rugrat is sleeping. Video is overkill. 3. Video monitoring for the house might be cool for other reasons - but not for baby. 4. Schedule a date night with your spouse at least once a month. Spend some quality adult time at least once a week. 5. Put the kid in a stroller and walk into the sun. It forces them to close their eyes and they go to sleep. Meanwhile you get exercies and talk time with your spouse and/or friends. 6. When they get older put them in a bicycle kid seat and go for a ride. This gives your spouse a much needed rest, exercise for you, and the kids love it. 7. Your life will change - this is normal - just enjoy the ride - don't fight it. 8. The first 6 months of the baby's life are extremely stressful - it gets better, trust me. 9. You and your spouse should take the time to write down the basic principles that will guide your life and discipline your child. Instead of rules (don't run in the house) teach principles (respect the rights and property of others) so that they can apply the principles in new situations. Otherwise you'll get a cocky 12 year old saying, "you didn't tell me I couldn't run in the funeral home." Good sources for principles include the 10 commandments, the boy scout code, etc. Here are the ones I use. Our entire family lives by these. My kids are empowered to correct me if they notice that I'm not following a principle (but they need to correct with respect). 1. Honor God, Honor your parents 2. People are more important than things. (this is handy when they accidentally trash your stuff). 2b. Assume people are acting with good intentions - be slow to anger, quick to forgive. 3. Actions have consequences (and I'll let you suffer as long as it doesn't do permanent damage) 4. Respect everyone, and respect their stuff too. 5. Some people are bad - thus - you can respect strangers without trusting them or doing what they say. And if you do a good job raising them you can safely tell them around age 10 or so 6. Trust your gut - if it feels wrong it probably is.... "run away, run away" 7. Never criticize people for things that they can't change. Your kids will mimic your words and your actions. You know you've done a good job when you hear them use your principles when they talk to their friends.