I love those faculty and sysadmin types here who expect us to write these hideously involuted Access Control Lists on our routers to make up for their steadfast desire to avoid actually administering their systems. (*eyeroll*)

(If you drive a car ), Iâ(TM)ll tax the street,
(If you try to sit ), Iâ(TM)ll tax your seat,
(If you get too cold ), Iâ(TM)ll tax the heat,
(If you take a walk ), Iâ(TM)ll tax your feet.
Tax man...

... not to succumb to a "War of The Worlds" effect. If this had been an actual emergency, the terrorists would already have turned Poughkeepsie into a mushroom-cloud-covered obsidian lake bed. Everybody take deep breaths, think calming thoughts, and you can all go back to calling Snooki a skank after it's over with. Or so the voices in my head want me to assure you.

End of line.

@!#%$@%^@&& NO CARRIER

"It wouldn't be so much tearing a hole in the fabric of space as making a ripple."

Ah, so that earthquake that rocked Louisa County, Virginia a few weeks ago and knocked over some stuff at my mom's house in the DC 'burbs was a ripple from the laser firing, flowing backwards across time? Cool!