John Q. American
October 15, 2008
To the Dear citizens of USA,
I am writing to you from the future, with the hope that by describing the world as it is today, it will help you understand the important decision you must make in a few weeks, and how that decision will affect the world for years to come.
The world of 2008 is very different from your own.
There is no longer a middle class as it existed in 2004. The privileged have completed the liberation of the rest of the world's population, leaving seven billion happy worker-consumers and a few scattered terrorists. After the election of 2004, the then heavily Republican US Congress moved swiftly to deregulate all parts of the US economy, instantly prompting the largest string of corporate mergers in history. Within days, a single global corporation emerged which today controls all aspects of the world's economy. The governments of the world that were able to react fast enough took up whatever positions of power they could within WorldCo(R). What else can a government do in the face of a giant mega corporation that now is the sole owner and distributor of practically every resource on the planet? Now, anyone who labors, labors for WorldCo(R). Anyone who consumes, consumes from WorldCo(R). It is the ultimate distributor of wealth, efficiently funneling vast riches to its privileged Shareholders, which coincidentally enough now include every patriotic US congressman and the entire Bush Administration.
The War in Iraq, which I remember was one of the most important "issues" during the 2004 election, is utterly ridiculous in comparison to the global war we fight today. The "WTC Terrorists Of Iraq 2001" have spread around the world, attacking WorldCo(R) guerilla-style wherever they can. Financed and sponsored by WorldCo(R)'s massive weapons industry-arm, Our Troops(TM) fight these terrorists wherever they are found and distribute WorldCo(R)'s many Freedom(TM) brand products to the newly liberated lands.
Of course WorldCo(R) Media is also present on the battlefield to report on the number of terrorists killed. Gone are the many confusing and conflicting opinions present on the television and Internet of 2004. Although you are now in the middle of your 2004 candidate debates, the idea of a "political debate" is unthinkable in 2008, and borders on Treason. It is unpatriotic to criticize your leaders. As a proud American, I am united behind President Bush and WorldCo(R)'s unwavering War Against Terror.
Apart from the terrorists, crime in general is at an all-time low, thanks to Zero Tolerance Zero Privacy policies, and aggressive imprisonment and property seizure. I feel so much safer today than I did in 2004, especially since I believe in WorldCo(R) and their Support Our Troops(TM) program.
Border crossing of any kind is considered something only terrorists do, not to mention non-consumptive, so international travel and dealings with "foreigners" are basically unheard of today.
The War on Unemployment is long gone. Unemployment has been at 0% for the past thirty months, and shows no sign of returning. According to Policy, anyone who leaves the employ of WorldCo(R) is immediately imprisoned, and thus returns (at a lower pay grade, of course) to work. The War on Drugs and the War on Poverty were both similarly successful.
As you can see, we live in a utopia, thanks to President Bush. It is hard to imagine that in 2004, there were people who opposed him. I am writing this, hoping that it will reach you before they do. I hope it will keep you strong and determined to make the right decision in November. America is counting on you. WorldCo(R) is counting on you.
John Q. American
October 15, 2008
