bellus quies's Journal: New Apartment & a Breakup just in time for Valentines.

Yep. Like everyone else didn't see that one coming.

So we're playing it by ear; taking some time and space apart to grow and see where life leads.

There alot of tears on both parts, but it will be the best for both of us in the long run. Either building a stronger relationship between us in the future or stronger individuals due to this learning experience. So it's a win-win. A hard thing to wrap my head around at times, but under it all I know it's the right thing for this moment.

So I'll be focusing on starting up my new side business and re-learning how to rollerskate.

That Sucks

[Real World Stuff]

But then again...everything sucks in one way or another.

Re:

[bellus quies]

Yep and this valentines sucks, so I'm going out with friend's Wednesday night and sucking down some margaritas.

Sorry...

[FortKnox]

I left my gf in college, and ended up getting back with her a couple months later, then marrying her, so you are right... it is win-win.

Re:

[bellus quies]

Yep, that's what I'm guessing is on the list of possabilities. The bookworm that I am, I've been readin goff and on the book Make-up, Don't Break Up [amazon.com]. And it talks about how most couples need to break up, to grow and build the foundation for a strong relationship. That and the pursuer/distancer dynamic, and how the distancer needs time to realize how much they valued the closeness and the pursuer time to build their self confidence in themselves.

Re:

[FortKnox]

That and the pursuer/distancer dynamic, and how the distancer needs time to realize how much they valued the closeness and the pursuer time to build their self confidence in themselves.

That was it for me. I was definitely the distancer. I did the breaking up, and that's when I realized how much she meant to me...

Best of luck to you

[Shadow Wrought]

It truly is a win-win. And since you absolutely rock as a person (based on your JEs of course;-) you are deserving of someone just as cool. If BF can't do that, than you will find the guy who is. Guaranteed.

Crux

[Flamesplash]

I broke up with my 4 year gf in college, we stayed best friends and neither of us moved out of the apartment, and it was a stupid stupid idea. If in your heart of hearts you don't think it's right to be together, then take your time and your space and make it real. You can always come back as friends later if he is a good enough person to let you have the space.

Best of luck, it does get better, just don't dwell on what might have been, because it isn't.

Alternatively....

[BWJones]

I broke up with my gf in the first year of college (more her choice than mine), spent a couple of years working waaaaay too hard and not dating *anyone*, then met this amazing, wonderful, beautiful person that I ended up marrying. Looking back on that earlier relationship with my college gf is instructive because now I can say "WTF was i thinking?". I wish the college gf the best, really! But honestly, we had an immature, un-healthy relationship and if we had stayed together, it would have been disastrou