bellus quies's Journal: Right now I could really do without the walls

Only 2 hours left unitl I get to walk out of here, hop on a bus and trudge sleepily home. I'm so tired of working in a cube, having my life defined by the drudgery taking place in such a confined space. It dictates what I eat, when I sleep, morphing my body as it atrophy's from chair bound existence. I hate it. My back hurts, my mood is down and I want to leave it all behind. I think that I'll list my engineering books on Amazon and see what I can get from them. A little outdated, but whatever. I don't want to continue lugging around a library on the off chance that I might design structural stuff again. Clutter weighs on the soul. I'm just tired of it all. Wanting more than 3 measly hours to myself each day. Most of those getting eaten up by mundane chores, leaving not much time to unwind from the day before rinsing and repeating it all over again. What would I do if I had more hours in the day? Well I don't know. Would I cherish them more or less because they lost their rarity?

Also, my lovely Crohn's is acting up again. Superfun! Ya, especially because I've been stockpiling my meds in preparation of me not having insurance. That means, not taking them while in remission. But I'm getting the rumblings of a relapse, which does not bode well. The last lapse happened 2 years ago, and I had to suffer through 2 different Gastroenterologists before they got the flare to tone down. (Ya after some fun with corticosteroids and those lovely side effects.) blah. I'm also thinking that it's mainly due to my weight, having gained some due to overeating to compensate for a depressing work environment. That the extra adipose tissue is pressing on my intestines and aggravating the constriction. But I've been good lately, having shunned the snack bar for 2 weeks and only snacking on cashews and dried aprocots.

As with the Cashews I had it recommended to me by this wholistic therapist that I saw a couple of times last year that it looks like I have serotonin issues and that I could benefit from some triptophan (the amino precursor) So since I can't have the most readily available source, moo juice, I'll have to stick to cashews and turkey. Hopefully that will work, even if it's just the placebo effect, I'll be happy with any improvement. With my brain chemistry evening out, that is. With regards to the Crohn's, I also have a sneaking suspicion that it's just a 3rd chakra thing. Who knows. I've done enough research on the various reasons for it, medical and spiritual, I think it's a combination of the two.

Heck, it'll only help if I take care of my physical health and my mental well being. And this job sure isn't helping either of them. Just another reason to pursue other paths that will open up as I leave Los Angeles behind.

I am interested in your books.

[Current Shunts]

Zap me a mail.

Re:I am interested in your books.

[bellus quies]

Cool. It'll probably be closer to teh weekend when I can sort through all the one's I don't want. Mainly things like steel design, concrete design, hydrology, geotechnical stuff...general mundane civil engineering fodder.

Re:I am interested in your books.

[Current Shunts]

That's cool. Take your time, but I'd like first look :).

Re:I am interested in your books.

[Some Woman]

And you're also slobbering all over yourself to read about reaction kinetics and separations, right?

Re:I am interested in your books.

[Current Shunts]

I am interested in different disciplines :). Except for that irrelevane chemical stuff. (Ducks)

Stupid books.

[Some Woman]

I used mine to try to reach the smoke detector before we had a ladder. Didn't work, so I sold their sorry rarely-used lead-brick-like asses back. It's only been a year (max of 2 years) since they were purchased, so most haven't gone into new editions. I exchanged four of them for nearly $150. I'll take more of them back after the end of spring semester (the joy of classes that are offered once per year).

Soon the blasted engineering clutter will be gone! The chemistry books and model sets I'll be keepi