Comment Real Advice (Score 1) 1354
Making new friends and meeting people is simple, but not easy.
Prepare to work hard at this for at least a year. You'll have to put in many hours of effort a week. It will be frustrating, but it will pay off greatly.
The trick is to put yourself into a position where you have to interact with people. It is easier to do in more formal environments, like a class, but clubs, meetups etc. are also good. I suggest signing up for a class or three. Preferable something you like to do, but not necessarily. It will help if it is something that might attract geeky people, since you'll have an easier time relating to them. Swing or ballroom dance class, cooking class, welding, extreme beekeeping, anything that puts you near people is good. Look for clubs in your area that look interesting and go. Try meetup.com, craigslist etc. If you don't have any interests that take you outside your room, then develop some. Or just try something that you think you might eventually become interested in.
Going to social events might be scary and awkward at first, but you just have to keep doing it until it gets easier. This is an important point! While such events might be very scary for you right now, you have to do it! The worst thing that will happen is that you'll have a bad time, not talk to anyone, and feel like you failed. That is normal at first. You have to keep forcing yourself into social situations, and eventually you'll start to feel more comfortable. Don't judge success by how many good conversations you've had, or how many people of the opposite gender (POGs) you talked to. Success is having the willpower to change yourself and sticking to it for a long time. Keep track of this success. Make a chart of how many social things you did each week, and make sure that the slope is never negative for more than a few days. What you need is practice, practice, practice. And face time.
Take it easy at first. Don't set up challenges that are too difficult for you (eg. meeting POGs). Start slowly and work your way up as you gain confidence. It's fine if you start with super-geeky computer meetups or whatnot. The point is not to become a jock, the point is to gain experience and confidence in social situations. Once you've mastered easy and familiar social situations you can level-up to new social frontiers. Remember that it will take you at least a year to start building a reasonable social circle, and it may take you five to ten years to become comfortable in most social situations. You have time, use it to keep learning.
How to behave: It is likely that your social skill are poor at the moment. You have to accept this -- there is no way to pretend that you are socially skilled. The trick is to just be honest. If you don't understand what is expected of you , or you are nervous etc, just say so. While there are some jerks out there, most people will be very happy to help. A person that does not know how to behave in a social situation and does not know, or acknowledge this is creepy. A person who acknowledges that they don't know how they are expected to behave is thoughtful and maybe even slightly charming, and will bring out the helpful side of people. Try to be open and honest with people, and most will respond in kind. (Or if not in kind, they will at least understand why you are socially awkward, rather than just thinking that you are a weirdo.)
What to expect: If you keep putting yourself in social situations, you will slowly get more comfortable in them. You'll hopefully use this to go to more classes, clubs, and even parties and gain more comfort and confidence in talking to people. Over a year or two, you will start meeting one or three people who you click with and start going to social events with them (or just spending time with them). They will have friends too, and your social circle will grow. The more people you know, the easier it will get to meet people. Your goal is to have a small circle of close friends, and a loose network of less close friends who can get you into more social situations. You will slowly get better at meeting and interacting with people. You will feel better about yourself, and will have a more full and interesting life. Once you have enough confidence and social skills, you can also start trying to meet POGs. You might meet some in your social circle, or you can try meeting POGs on dating sites. (Again, remember to think of it as practice at first, don't set your expectations too high in the beginning.)
Good luck!
