banky's Journal: people that need to fucking die

1. If you ride your stupid fucking moped in the left lane of the Franconia-Springfield parkway, you need to die.
2. If you drive a pimped-out yellow Turbo Escort and dress like a Backstreet Boy (INCLUDING retarded facial hair), you need to die.
3. For that matter, any retarded facial hair style... well, OK, not death, just have your face dipped in acid. There are exactly 5 types of acceptable facial hair: goatee, van dyke (aka "goatee plus mustache"), beard, tasteful mustache, or tasteful sideburns. You are allowed to be messy, scruffy, unshaven, whatever. That's fine. If it takes you more than an hour to shave, and you need a template to do so, you need to die.
4. Here's how to pass a car: signal. Look to see that you aren't about to crash into anyne. CHECK YOUR BLINDSPOT. If you can't manage this simple task, turn in your license, and die.
5. Fast-food joints all have the same menu: a burger, a larger burger, a small burger, a non-burger, fries, drinks. Everything else is just a seasonal promotion or something random. Taking 40 minutes to decide you want a #3 with a Coke means a)you're stoned or b)you need to die.
6. No more than 17 people to a car please.
7. While I certainly don't drive a nice car (a 1990 Bronco II XLT) it doesn't, for instance, look like I'm playing 'Spy Hunter' - there isn't a massive volume of smoke and oil issuing forth. Passing 4 service stations while your car is in the condition means, you guessed it, you need to die.

There are more, but I don't feel like listing them anymore. Today was the #1 worst driving day EVER.

Re:because of this journal

[red5]

ACs who troll journals need to die also.

a tip of the hat to joe

[egg troll]

If you write 100 slashdot journals that nobody reads a day, you need to fucking die.

One Humble Addition (or more)

[swampxiix]

People who choose the right-on-red lane out of 2 (or 3) lanes at a stoplight... who aren't turning right... (wait for it)... need to die.

People who don't offer the courtesy wave after you've politely let them into traffic need to die.

To quote red5, "ACs who troll journals need to die also." Just to reiterate.

Re:One Humble Addition (or more)

[red5]

People who choose the right-on-red lane out of 2 (or 3) lanes at a stoplight... who aren't turning right... (wait for it)... need to die.

People who go to the right turn only lane then slam on the gas and cut everyone off really need to die.

Re:One Humble Addition (or more)

[Em Emalb]

People who choose the right-on-red lane out of 2 (or 3) lanes at a stoplight... who aren't turning right... (wait for it)... need to die.

People who go to the right turn only lane then slam on the gas and cut everyone off really need to die.

Then, after they do this, they don't wave. Now they really need to die. :)

I hear ya.

[gmhowell]

Must have been the whole DC Metro area today. More than a few moments when I wanted to go all "Grand Theft Auto" on someone's ass.

Bad boat drivers, too!

[Some Woman]

And they don't even need licenses. Hint: zipping around on a waverunner 15 feet from a canoe makes you an ass.

people who...

[daoine]

...decide to change lanes in the middle of an intersection because they're incapable of figuring out where they need to go-cutting off an entire lane of accelerating traffic in the process...n.t.d.