If only countries took the position of the Songwriters Association of Canada: Pay a small monthly fee and pirating Canadian music is legal for you, and you can opt-out of the fee if you want. But even Canada doesn't agree with it's songwriters.
I guess that's just wishful thinking though. It seems that even if everyone (including the songwriters) want this, large corporations will still find a way to lobby the government so that they can support their tactics of bullying the consumer. And that's what it comes down to in most cases: large corporations and their government involvement.
"Should I suck it up and learn to do all my programming in C++/Java/(insert other well-supported, popular language here) and unlearn ten years of philosophy, or is there hope for the multi-language development process?"
No, DON'T unlearn ten years of philosophy. DO learn to do programming in C++/Java/(insert other, imperative programming language here).
Simply by learning a new language, you should not lose abilities and ideals you gained with others (goes for scripting too). You should build on your previous experiences. Experience in functional programming languages (and scripting) goes a long way for your ability to efficiently and effectively use an imperative language. This is why a lot of colleges and universities are starting to teach Scheme as an introductory language instead of Java.
There is hope for a multi-language development process, just make sure that your capable with the languages that are more prevalent
Hmm... I'm not sure if you're being sarcastic or not.
As far as learning programming goes, learning semantics is the most important thing. Once a person knows how to program they can quickly adapt to varying syntax's and styles. Why do you think it's so easy to move from Java to C++ or from C++ to PHP? The syntax changes a whole lot more than deprecating #includes, yet it's very easy to adapt. In fact, many upper-year programming courses are taught in a way that isn't designed for a specific language for that reason.
A book that would teach the prisoners how to program in general would be very beneficial, but then they would need an accompanying book to apply that knowledge with a language. So, you could either get them a book on programming in general and a book on a language, or you could just get something like an intro to Java book that would include all of the semantics and basics for programming as well as a good introduction to a language that is commonly used by first time programmers.
The moon may be smaller than Earth, but it's further away.