Or even Algol 68

There are more differences between the iPod touch and the iPhone than just the phone components:
GPS, compass, battery capacity. In the previous generation the touch was also missing the cameras and microphone.

OK, that's still less than £270 worth but the difference is closed somewhat.

1) Create a set of objects representing the letters of the alphabet.

2) Produce as many of these as necessary

3) Use to form words bypassing the chat censorship

4) ????

5) Profit!!!

The law concerned is national, but to qualify as child pornography it would have to be "posed" and in a sexual context.
(or an image of, or apparently of, sexual interaction with a child).
But good luck in trying to persuade a magistrate (not a jury!) that an image that the prosecutor claims to meet that description doesn't really.

Actually this has been quite widely publicised in the national press (OK, not the top story, but ...) and broadcast news.
I'd bet also that the local paper has had about a 3-page story starting on the front page.

The Eken M001 - also an Android tablet can be easily obtained on eBay for just over $100.

But I don't recommend it, either. The hardware ought to be capable of reasonable response - but the software is so slow as to be ~unusable.

In fact it was designed so that multiple transmitters could broadcast the same signal on the same frequency without multipath problems.
Which is great - except that the regulatory authorities require each transmitter to uniquely identify itself which means they cannot broadcast identical bit streams and thus that mechanism just doesn't work.

"Is government regulation anything to do with this? "

Not really, it is more that the bundle of "intellectual property" licenses you need to build a DAB radio is a significant cost.

At least until very recently it was about £10 a unit ... it must have come down a bit or they couldn't make a £20 set (unless there is some sort of kick-back in operation)

Just think of it as a Philips tax :-(

Is it wise to put the md5 hash of a mission statement that is likely to be subject to frequent change on a logo which should not?

When I started work as a computer programmer the Supercomputer of the time was the CDC6600 which had just taken the crown from the Ferranti Atlas.

When I took early retirement about 7 years ago, I often carried four devices which each needed about the power of the 6600 to function effectively:
    A mobile phone
    An MP3 player
    A PDA (mainly used as an ebook reader)
    A GPS (OK, I didn't carry this all that often)

A composer/researcher was using our University Mainframe (not quite that powerful) to produce music - his jobs typically ran for a whole 8 hour nightshift with an output of some 30 seconds of "music".