This just in - they got a response:
Hello! I am a creature from a galaxy far away, visiting your planet.
I have transformed myself into this text file. As you are reading it, I
am having sex with your eyeballs. I know you like it because you are
smiling. Please pass me on to someone else because I'm really horny.
The amount of time between slipping on the peel and landing on the pavement is precisely 1 bananosecond.