Penguin Patent (Score 1)

I hereby patent the use of a Penguin as a mascot.

The usages prohibited by this patent are - but not limited to - the following:

Usage of a penguin as a symbol for any product, whether electronic or material in nature.

Usage of a penguin as a symbol for any idea, thought, or process developed by you or person known by you.

Usage of a penguin as a symbol for any idea, though, or process developed by any person not known by you.

Usage of a penguin as a symbol for any drink, whether it be fruit punch, apple juice, soda, any type of alcoholic mixture, or any other liquid substance.

Usage of a penguin as a symbol of 'coolness'. You may not use a penguin to express the power, strength, or slickness of an item. This includes telling stories of the various varieties of penguins known to attack, by charging creatures at excessivly high speeds.

Usage of a penguin as a symbol of happyness. You may not discuss or give analagies of a penguin, mentioning any amount of cuteness, cuddliness, being lovable, it's ability to gorge on heron, or EVER use the phrase "mommy mommy, can I have one too?". That phrase is expressly prohibited.

You may not use the terms "Penguin" and "GIMP" in the same phrase, as the term Gimp gives the impression that the Penguin is not capable of standing up to other mascot's.

Usage of a penguin that talks. You may not use any form of a talking penguin. Also, if a penguin could talk, it would never use the word, "duby".

Usage of a penguin outside it's biological environment. This includes incorporating a penguin and an igloo. Penguin's do not live near igloo's.

Any usage of the Penguin that was not expressly granted above, is hereby forbidden.